


My Personal Paramedic

by Wiccan507



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationship Cas/Balth, Angst, F/M, Humour, Lots of Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Paramedic - Freeform, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiccan507/pseuds/Wiccan507
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is an EMT at Lawrence Memorial Hospital after he gets a call out to a car accident and see's the extent of the injuries he doubts that the man would survive. But after the patient surprises everyone Dean can't help but get to know the man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do also have an account on FanFiction.net under the same username, most of the stories I write will feature on both.

** Chapter One – Meeting Dean **

Dean Winchester hadn’t been sleeping recently. He had no idea why he wasn’t getting more than 3 hours a night, but what he did know was that in 13 minutes he had to get up for work. Dean was an EMT at Lawrence Memorial Hospital and he had the 5am shift. Now as much fun as it is to drag drunks out of the gutter he just couldn’t find the motivation to get up for work today. Dean had wanted to help people ever since he was young, he just never really knew how, that was until he was 22 and he was in a car accident with his dad and brother Sam. Sam was so happy to have just gotten his driving licence but after that truck hit them Sam had blamed himself and hadn’t got behind the wheel for nearly 4 years.

Dean pushed the quilt down his body, and swung his legs over the side of his bed. He ran his hand down his face and pushed himself off of the bed. He made his way in to his bathroom and turned on the light. He blinked as his eyes reacted to the light. He turned the shower on and hissed as the cold water hit his arm. He moved back in to his bedroom to turn his alarm off and grab his towel. He really hoped that the damn landlord had fixed the plumbing for once in his life. Dean pulled off his pyjama shorts and hopped in the shower. Shit. The water felt like ice on his skin. How the hell does anyone prefer cold showers?

Dean jumped out of the shower and wrapped his towel low on his hips. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He had had better days, the circles under his eyes were darker, and his facial hair was a little longer than he’d have liked, he looked nothing like the baseball star from high school.  He brushed his teeth and then padded back to bedroom. He grabbed his phone and noticed he had two texts.

**To – Dean/From – Sam (11:03pm)**

Don’t forget dinner at mom’s tomorrow night, got something I need to tell you before, text me when you get this.

**To – Dean/From – Jo (3:47am)**

You better have gotten your pretty ass outta bed!

                Dean could pretty much guess what Sam was gonna tell him. ‘Dean I decided to get my hair cut’ it’s about the only thing that would need any serious talk. Dean chuckled at Jo’s text then threw his phone on his bed. He let his towel fall to the ground as he walked over to his drawers. He pulled out some light green boxers and grabbed his favourite light blue jeans. He slipped the boxers up his legs and realised that maybe they were a little tight around his ass; he really should start running again. He quickly pulled on his jeans and grabbed his Led Zeppelin t-shirt, he couldn’t even remember how long he’d had this shirt but it always made his arms look good. 4:22am. He ran his hand through his short blonde hair and sat down on his bed, he pulled on his boots and tied them up. He put on his dad’s old leather jacket then grabbed his phone and keys on the way out.

                10 minutes later he was sat in his pride and joy. He nursed his 67’ Chevy Impala back to health after the crash. It took almost a year for Dean to restore her and make her in to the car she is today. Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the sound of AC/DC. He pulled in to one of the empty parking spots and turned off the ignition. He grabbed his work bag from the back seat and got out of the car. He locked up his car and made his way in to the hospital; he smiled at the nurse on the front desk, Lisa, and continued on to the staff changing rooms.

                Jo smiled at him when he walked through the door. “Cutting close aren’t ya Winchester” Dean just shrugged and flashed her the usual flirty smile. She rolled her eyes at him and grabbed the keys to the ambulance “I’ll meet you out front, okay?” Dean had changed out of his day clothes and was starting to put his EMT uniform on. “Okay Jo” Jo made her way out of the room. Dean buttoned up his shirt and followed her out. He stopped by Lisa’s desk as usual. She beamed up at him when he came over.

“Hey, how’s the night shift been treating ya?” Dean smiled ‘shyly’ at her because he knew it would cause her to blush.

“It’s been okay, not much has really happened tonight, but listen I know you finish at four and if you want we could get a drink about 6” Lisa smiled up at him with a hopeful glint in her eye. Dean was about to reply but Jo came running up to him “Dean we gotta go, some guy ploughed his car in to a lamppost” Dean waved a quick goodbye to Lisa and ran after Jo.

                They jumped in the ambulance and tore out of the emergency bay. Jo flipped on the lights and headed to the accident site. The operator radioed them to let them know that the fire brigade were on standby in case they had to cut the guy out of the vehicle. They reported a weak pulse but the man had been unresponsive so far. Jo screeched to a halt as they reached the accident site. Jo jumped out and ran round to the back, Dean jumped in to the back of the cab to pass her the back board. She made her way over and Dean grabbed the kit. 

                Dean could see a lot of visible damage to the car, the lamppost was closer to the windscreen than it ever should be and it didn’t look like the airbags had gone off. Dean could see Jo talking to the fire chief Bobby Singer, there was no way they were gonna be able to get the driver out of the car without cutting the doors and the steering wheel off. Jo and Dean stood back near the fire truck as Bobby instructed his team. As soon as the steering wheel was off Jo and Dean jumped straight in. Jo secured a neck brace around the driver and shouted to one of the firemen to come help. The fireman, Victor, climbed in the passenger side and helped Jo keep the guy’s back as straight as possible. It was next to impossible to get the driver out without moving his back but they were able to keep him from moving too much. Dean helped move him over to the back board. They secured him to the board and moved it on to the ambulance bed. Dean wheeled him in to the back, while Jo ran around the front. Dean jumped in and they set of for the hospital.

                Dean hooked the driver up to the heart monitor and it registered his pulse, it was slow and very weak but it was there. He attached an oxygen mask to the driver’s face, as he pushed the elastic band over his head Dean felt a warm liquid on his hand. He informed Jo that he had a head injury. It had initially been hard to see because of the driver’s messy dark hair. Dean tried to find any response in the driver’s eyes. He opened each eye and shone his pocket light to test for a response. His pupils responded appropriately and Dean sighed in relief. He noticed that the driver’s eyes were an indescribable shade of blue. Dean scolded himself because now really wasn’t the time to notice messy hair and blue eyes.

“Jo! Are we almost there?” Dean shouted through to her

“Yeah! Its half seven Dean the school run, people don’t exactly want to get out of the way”

“Do we know this guy’s name I need to write something on this chart?”

“John Doe, they couldn’t find I.D in the car, how bad is it?”

“He’s got a head injury, weak pulse, his abdomen is inflamed, and probably about half a dozen internal injuries”

“Shit. Okay were here” Jo ran round and pulled open the doors. The emergency team was already waiting for them. Jo and Dean helped get the driver out of the ambulance and then the emergency team took over. Dean handed the chart over to Lisa; she mumbled something about recognizing him. Dean moved back over towards the ambulance. Jo came over and stood beside Dean. She knew car accidents were always hardest on him.

“I’m okay Jo; I mean compared to that guy I'm great. He's got pretty extensive injuries, it’ll be a miracle if he actually lives”

“Castiel Novak” Dean gives Jo a confused look “His name”


	2. Meeting Castiel

Castiel Novak hated mornings. Mornings meant he had to get up for work and teach the same stuff for the third time this week. Don’t get him wrong he loves being a teacher but the closer it gets to Friday the more thankful he is to not deal with the students. Castiel turns over in his bed and pulls the covers up over his head. He can hear his phone going off on the side table but he really just wants to ignore it. Maybe he could call in sick, he’s hardly ever off work and they really do owe him some vacation time. He scoffs at his own ridiculousness and climbs out of bed. He drags himself in to the bathroom and catches sight of himself in the mirror. Crap. His hair is sticking out all over the place, his eyes are red raw from crying and he can see a bruise forming just below his neck. A shirt could probably cover it. Castiel dragged himself in to the shower and scrubbed his body while trying to avoid the tender skin. He winced as his hand brushed over the bruise. He climbed out and shut the water off.

                As he made his way in to his bedroom he realised his phone was still going off. He picked it up and realised that it wasn’t his alarm but Gabriel. Who calls someone at twenty past six in the morning? He stared at his phone and contemplated if he should actually answer, Gabriel’s calls never really ended well for Castiel. The last time he answered he’d been dragged off to that bloody strip club and that woman. Chastity! How on earth could anyone believe that a stripper was really called chastity, I mean her profession alone should make men realise that but…stop it Castiel. Thinking like that was what got you slapped in the first place. His phone was still ringing.

‘Hello Gabriel’

‘Little Bro’, you know you could sound a little happier to be hearing from me’

‘But then I would be lying to myself and giving you false hope’

‘Someone is snarky in the mornings’

‘You lived with me for 17 years and you’re just now realising that I am not a morning person’

‘Anyway! I need a place to live’ Gabriel paused as Castiel started laughing down the phone ‘Cassie is this really necessary, I mean we both know that we’re gonna argue about this then you’re gonna cave and I’m gonna move in anyway. I mean you just gotta open the door’ Castiel could practically see the smirk coming from his brother and he knew he would…wait…

‘Open what door?’

‘Your front door, I see you changed the locks again’ Castiel walked to his front door and looked through the peephole. Sure enough Gabriel was stood on the other side smiling up at Castiel. Castiel could also see the suitcase in his hand.

‘I don’t really feel like opening the door’

‘Seriously your right behind the door and you can’t be bothered to open it for your only brother’

‘You’re not my only brother’

‘No but I am the best so there’s no need for the other’s really’ Castiel sighed, hung up the phone and opened the door to a very smug Gabriel. Gabriel pushed past Castiel and flopped himself down on the couch.  

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll get your bags” Gabriel just waved his hand over his shoulder. Castiel really should never have answered the phone. Castiel picked up the suitcase and brought it in to his apartment. He threw to Gabriel “It goes in the spare bedroom” and walked in to the kitchen. He grabbed himself a bowl of cereal and went back to the living-room. Gabriel’s eye’s followed him as he sat down.

“What?”

“Do you want to explain the huge bruise you’re sporting?” Gabriel flicked his eyes to the bruise on Castiel, it hadn’t looked too bad in the bathroom but in the new light he could see that it stretched from the base of his neck and down the front of his chest, it was turning a dark purple.

“I fell in the shower and it was stupid and now I have a bruise” Castiel was always a bad liar but maybe Gabriel would see that Castiel really didn’t want to talk about it and just drop the whole issue.

“The shower. Right” He clearly wasn’t convinced but Castiel silently thanked him for not continuing. He put his bowl on his coffee table and made his way in to his bedroom to get dressed. Coming to work in a towel wasn’t exactly allowed. Castiel chuckled to himself at the idea of any of the teachers coming in just a towel. He out on a pair of grey boxers, black slacks, a white button down shirt and a dark blue tie. It wasn’t cold outside so he probably wouldn’t need his trench coat and so he decided on a simple black jacket. The clothes didn’t really define his body, they were a little baggy and actually made him look smaller than he was but he didn’t really mind, it was gave people a certain impression. Wimpy mostly but then the look of surprise when he spoke with a deep gravelly voice was humorous. Castiel looked at the clock quarter to seven. He usually didn’t leave till quarter past but he really didn’t want to deal with Gabriel this early in the morning.

            Castiel grabbed his bowl of the table and dropped it in his sink. He grabbed his shoes from beside the couch and put them on. Gabriel kept looking at him suspiciously but he decided to ignore it. “I’m gonna go to work early, I have some tests to finish up but make yourself at home and I’ll be back about 5” Gabriel just nodded at Castiel. He picked up his bag and grabbed his keys on the way out the door.

            Castiel tried to start his car again. He must have the most unreliable car in the world. The brake would stick, the gears only worked about half the time and the airbags were currently non-existent. The car was essentially a death trap but Castiel had no money to get it fixed so he had to put up with it. It finally started and he pulled out of his parking space and drove towards the high school. It was quieter than he expected, there was one car about 3 spaces ahead of him and a few heading in the opposite direction. It was still a little dark out and only one of his damn headlights was working. If a cop ever pulled him over he wouldn’t really know how to explain all the violations his car had. As he continued on down the road his phone started to ring, he switched between looking at his phone and the road. He couldn’t believe who was ringing him. He stared at his phone too long, debating whether he should pick it up or not. The car behind him was pushing on his horn, he looked up to see what was wrong and he’d driven in to the wrong lane. He’d swerved in to oncoming traffic as he’d stared at the phone beside him. Castiel tried to right the car but he just couldn’t keep control. He drove straight in to a lamppost at the side of the road. Castiel wasn’t really sure what happened in the moments after, it was brief moments of consciousness. His seatbelt didn’t lock and he felt his body impact with the steering wheel. It must have winded him because he could hardly take in a breath without a sharp pain in his chest. He tried to push himself back but as he tried to move his head throbbed and his vision started to blur around the edges. He slumped in to the steering wheel and a woman tried to talk to him. She was assessing his injuries. She kept talking to him and reassuring him that an ambulance was on its way. Castiel stared at her until it was just too painful to keep his eyes open, he’d been so tired after yesterday and he’d woken early this morning surely no one would care if he just went back to sleep. His eyelids were so heavy and his body hurt so much, sleep would be easier. He thought he heard a siren in the background but it was so far away. Even the woman beside him sounded distant. His body was telling him to sleep; it was helping him drown out all other sounds and he couldn’t even open his eyes anymore. Finally Castiel gave his body what it wanted and he let himself fall asleep.


	3. The Patient

            Dean was filling out paperwork. He did the same thing after every shift, he had to write up the accidents that had happened, the procedures they did, record the equipment and the medication they used, basically a diary of his day. He usually did this with Jo but she had a big date so he let her leave. He was just that kind of guy. There was a knock on the office door and Lisa popped her head round the door. She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, her son Ben had been really ill this week and it had been weighing on her.

“Dean, I figured you would want an update on that crash patient from last week” She looked sad when she looked at him. Dean always liked to check up on the patients he and Jo brought in. A few had died in the past but mostly they only had minor scrapes or some broken bones. The patient, Castiel, had been in a coma for almost a week, he was surprised the guy had made it this far, but with the look from Lisa he might not have made it this far at all.

“Did his family pull the plug or did he just die?” Dean had been expecting it for days really. The guy had had more injuries than originally thought. His left shoulder was dislocated which resulted in a pretty nasty bruise around the area, he had 4 broken ribs from the impact of the steering wheel and that had given him huge purple bruises along his abdomen and chest, one of those ribs had punctured his lung, massive internal bleeding, a broken leg and he had a head injury.

“Dean that’s the thing, the guy woke up; he’s talking with the doctor now” Dean didn’t really know what to say. He tried to say something to Lisa but he was just too surprised. He stood up and made his way to the door, Lisa backed up a little and let him past. He didn’t quite believe what she told him so he made his way to the guy’s room. Dean stood outside the door and could hear the Doctor talking. Dean leaned his back on the receptionist desk and waited.

Dean didn’t really know how long he’d been waiting but he knew it must have been a while because Lisa was beside him with a cup of coffee. He looked her up and down and realised she was wearing plain clothes instead of her normal uniform. She followed his gaze and answered “I finished my shift an hour ago but I got home and Ben’s fever had rocketed so I brought him in” Dean smiled weakly at her and pulled her in to a hug. He knew how much Ben meant to her and even if she didn’t say how worried she was Dean knew. Lisa pulled back from Dean and smiled up at him, she handed him the coffee and he thanked her.

“Dean I know it’s not my place to ask but you’ve been here for a while, why are you waiting to talk to this guy?” Dean had no answer. He realised that a couple times as he’d stood there. This was just some random guy he’d saved but why did he need to see the man to believe that he’d actually survived. Lisa could see that he wasn’t gonna answer so she decided to take a guess “I know you always take more interest in the car accidents. I know it’s because of your dad and brother that you are an EMT. So do you think maybe that’s why you need to know this guy is okay, because maybe you need to know that car accidents don’t always claim people’s lives?” Dean huffed before answering.

“I’ve worked here for years Lisa and there have been enough car accidents for me to know when someone is gonna live or die. That guy in there should have died. I guess I just want to understand why he didn’t” Lisa just stares at Dean, she knows he’ll continue but sometimes he just needs time to psych himself up to it “I know it sounds bad. I should be happy that the guy I saved is awake and alive but at the same time I really can’t help but think why him” Lisa put her hand on Deans shoulder and smiled at him. She knew what he meant and she could understand why he needed to know. She was about to say something when the door to Castiel’s room opened. Dean nodded his head at Dr Milton he was one of the general surgeons at the hospital. Dean and he had had a lot of contact over the years as many of the patients he brought in would become Dr Milton’s.

“Hey Doc, is it okay if I go see the patient?” Dean smiled at him, this was a regular occurrence.

“I wondered where you’d gotten to Dean, I thought you would have just came in” Dr Milton smiled back and waved at the door before walking down the corridor with a final “Dean, you know the drill, easy questions and let him get some rest” Dean just waved off the Doctor but he would always take his advice he had a lot of respect for the guy. Lisa rolled her eyes at Dean and pushed him towards the door; he smiled sheepishly at her and walked in the room. She left Dean to it and headed back to Ben.

                There were two beds in the hospital room but only one was occupied. The man was lying back in his bed with his eyes closed. Dean remembered how messy the guy’s dark hair had been after the accident and it really didn’t look any better now. Although he had been in a coma so Dean let it go. The man on the bed turned to look at Dean but didn’t say anything. Dean smiled at the man and got closer to his bed until he was stood at the bottom.

“Are you another Doctor?” the man asked, his voice was rough and sounded scratchy, probably from not using it for a week. Dean realised he still hadn’t answered the man and that probably looked a little weird.

“No I’m not a Doctor” Nice Winchester. Inform the guy that you’re not a Doctor with no follow up to who you are. Not creepy. Dean shushed himself and then by the look of confusion on the patients face he had shushed out loud. Dean rubbed the back of his neck and spoke “Sorry. I’m not weird or anything. I do actually work here…erm…I’m actually the guy who pulled you out of the car. Well my partner Jo and some fire fighter got you out of the car I couldn’t get to you until they got you out and then I worked on you in the back of the ambulance” Dean stopped himself from saying anything else because the guy hadn’t needed to know the last bit but from the half amused smile Dean could tell he didn’t really mind.

“Well thank you for working on me Mr…”

“Winchester. But you can call me Dean; if I save your life then you owe it to me really. Not that I think you owe me anything, it’s my job” Dean couldn’t believe how he sounded. He was usually Dean Winchester, confident, flirty, charm your pants right off you kinda guy. However right now he was Dean Winchester a rambling, babbling idiot. He just couldn’t help it this guy was just flat out staring at him. It looked like he was trying to understand every problem in the universe, like if he stared intently enough he would be able to figure it all out but more importantly he would be able to figure Dean out and he would be able to know his life story.

“Dean” Castiel spoke as though he was unsure if he could say the name. Like Dean would all of a sudden change his mind and decide that it wasn’t his name. “I’m Castiel Novak, but you can call me Castiel, I mean you did save my life and I obviously owe it to you” Castiel gave a small smile that showed Dean he was joking. Then his face became completely serious. “Dean, why are you here?”


	4. Explanations

Castiel was trying to understand what had just occurred. He had wanted to know why Dean was here but now Dean was gone. Dean had used the ‘Oh look someone’s calling me’ excuse and left the room. Castiel couldn’t help but be amused at Dean’s quick escape. Castiel knew the name Winchester but he just couldn’t remember why. It would probably come to him eventually but it was starting to annoy him. He couldn’t recall ever meeting Dean before so it couldn’t be that but…dammit…why was it so familiar. Castiel sighed and settled himself in to his rather lumpy bed. He was just drifting off to sleep when he heard it…the most daunting sound in the whole universe…

Gabriel sauntered through the door whistling.

What did Castiel do to deserve this?

Gabriel would probably make sure he was okay, then be angry at him and then be himself.

“Michael called me. He said you didn’t want him to call me, how could you Castiel I mean all I do for you. I came by every day to see you and you didn’t even want to tell me you were okay” Castiel watched as Gabriel paced around the hospital room waiting for him to explain himself and his actions.

“Gabriel before you jump on your high pony…” Before he could continue Gabriel cut in “Horse. High horse” Castiel laughed and stared at Gabriel before he could continue with what he was saying.

“Gabriel you couldn’t get on a horse. Wow thanks for the laugh though I really needed that, your such a thoughtful brother” Despite the sarcasm dripping from his words Castiel knew Gabriel’s ego would accept it as a compliment “Thanks Cassie that means a lot coming from you”

A nurse knocked on the door as she entered the room. She had come in to Castiel’s room multiple times today and Castiel guessed that Michael had asked her to keep an eye on him.

“How is my favourite patient today?” She smiled brightly at Castiel. Her red hair was pulled back in to a pony tail and she was dressed in light blue scrubs. Castiel liked her she was very friendly and she seemed to care a great deal about him. He’d had a nurse when he was a child that was quite unpleasant to all of his patients. Alistair something he never did take the time to remember. But this nurse was lovely; she had insisted he call her Lauren and if he had any problems to call her instantly. He considered Gabriel a problem but he couldn’t subject Lauren to him.

“Well I suppose I could do with a check-up” Gabriel flashed a smile at Lauren and a little blush crept up her cheeks. Castiel scoffed at Gabriel’s attempts to flirt and looked at Lauren “Ignore him. Unless of course you like men that can only ride ponies” Gabriel glared at Castiel while Lauren tried to stifle her laughter. She moved on with her exam and checked Castiel’s vitals as usual. She didn’t mind doing this for Dr Milton he was a nice man and she was quite honoured that he trusted her to take care of his cousin.

“I will have you know that I am like a stallion” Gabriel puffed out his chest and held his head up high

“Before you two continue I should probably tell you that I am a married woman” Lauren smiled at Gabriel as he deflated his chest and sat back in the seat beside Castiel. She finished her check-up and left the room with a small smile to Castiel.

“So…what did Michael say about getting out of here?” Gabriel looked at Castiel expecting an answer sometime today “He wants me to stay a week or so, just to make sure everything’s okay, I think he’s just trying to figure out why I’m alive” Gabriel knew he didn’t really want to talk about his miraculous recovery so he decided that a safer topic would be to make fun of his cousin.

“You know on my way to your room there were these nurses sat at the desk out there talking about Michael. I think there words were ‘Oh Dr Milton is so handsome I can’t believe he’s single’ and ‘Ya know why he’s single because he dedicates his life to the hospital’ I mean seriously if only they knew the truth about the wonderful Dr Milton” Gabriel twirled around the room and clasped his chest dramatically as he talked about the things he’d heard

“Maybe we should set him up on a blind date, I bet someone in the hospital catches his eye, maybe we could set him up with Kali?” Castiel smiled sweetly as Gabriel stopped in his tracks.

He nervously chuckled as he turned to look at Castiel “Oh you remember that huh?” he smiled down at the floor

“Do I remember you moving in with me? Yes. Do I remember the fact that you were living with Kali previously? Yes. Do I know why you got kicked out? No”

Gabriel flicked his gaze to Castiel and noticed the amusement in his eyes, he huffed before responding “Well I guess she finally just got sick of my trickster ways, as she referred to my pranks, and she told me that she felt like I was hiding a part of myself from her, and then she kicked me out of my own apartment and decided she was keeping it for…I can’t really remember but I am meeting her lawyer on Monday”

“Why is she getting a lawyer involved?”

“We’ve been together 6 years little bro and we’ve got a lot of stuff together, she kinda wants to split it legally”

“Wait I’m confused isn’t your name on everything I mean you sure as hell paid for everything!”

“Well both of our names are on everything. Don’t look at me like that she confused me with sex and stuff and it seemed like a good idea” Castiel rolled his eyes and decided against continuing on with a conversation that would only end in further annoyance at his brother.

Castiel was about to start a new conversation when a small knock came at the door. Dean made his way in to the room and gave Castiel a nervous smile but kept his eyes on the floor.

“Hey Cas”

“Hello Dean, did you come back to explain why you were here in the first place or why you abruptly left?” Dean finally looked up when he heard someone clear their throat. There was a man sat in the chair beside Castiel looking very amused by Dean. Cas was staring at him with what seemed like a silent plea crossed with an I’ll kill you look. The man looked to Cas and gave a huge grin then he looked back to Dean.

“And who exactly are you? And why are you in my man’s room?” Gabriel glared at Dean

“I’m sorry…your…your man…I…I erm…what?” Dean was looking at Cas for some sort of explanation but he was too busy trying to hold back a smile

“You heard me. You think you can come in here and steal my man with that pretty boy face and princess eyes”

“Princess eyes? I have manly eyes; these eyes have seen things, some pretty manly shit” Castiel couldn’t stop the smile from breaking out on his face now “And you know what? If I was here to steal your man then pretty sure I could win him over with the few extra inches I have” Castiel burst out laughing at the mock horror on Gabriel’s face

“I shall have you know that I can do a lot with my inches” Gabriel gave Dean a sly grin and winked at him “I’m gonna get some coffee, talk to you later big boy”

Dean turned to Cas to try and figure out what in the hell just happened! “So that’s your boyfriend” Is what Dean decided was the best question to ask first.

“Gabriel’s my brother, he just likes to mess with people. So what’s up Dean?”

“I feel like I owe you an explanation but I don’t want it to come across sounding harsh or anything because I really don’t mean it to”

“It’s okay Dean, just sit down and tell me why you came” Dean smiled at Castiel and moved to sit beside him

“Well I’m an EMT, obviously, and I’ve seen a few car accidents and I can honestly say that I’ve gotten to the point where I could judge if someone was going to live or die. And you were so banged up that I didn’t really think you’d make it, so when Lisa, she’s a nurse here, came to tell me you were awake I guess I just really had to come see it myself, you know see why you got to live I guess” Dean knew it wasn’t the whole truth but he didn’t need to tell Cas about his painful past. He looked at Castiel and he didn’t look angry or upset he just looked curious.

“I get it Dean, don’t worry, honestly I’ve been wondering the same thing, and I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’m not that great a person, I haven’t done anything miraculous or life-changing, so I don’t know why I survived” Dean contemplated what he was saying and he remembered his brother saying something similar after their accident.

“Ya know Cas, maybe you just haven’t done what you’re supposed to yet so you’re getting the chance to” Castiel smiled at Dean, the way he’d said it was such a matter of fact way

“Listen Cas I have some paperwork that I’ve gotta get finished otherwise my partner is gonna kill me, she’s pretty scary and will kill me if it’s not finished”

“You have a partner?”

“Jo, she’s pretty awesome, she likes the same music as me so never complains and she makes sure I’m awake in the mornings when I have a morning shift, and she usually has coffee for me”

“She sounds great. Dean if its okay with you, I would like to get to know the man who saved my life a little better…would that be okay?”

“Yeah man, I would like that, tell you what why don’t I do my paperwork in here and we can talk or whatever”

“Dean, maybe you should come back tomorrow, Gabriel won’t be here then”

“Right. Yeah I’ll see you tomorrow Cas” Castiel smiled at Dean as he left the room. He’d never really had a nickname before, well except Cassie (which he hated), but he had always preferred people to call him Castiel. But he liked it…Cas.


	5. Hard to believe

Dean had been going to sit in Castiel’s room for a week. He went by every day after his shift to finish his paperwork and talk about little things, stories from their pasts, things Dean had seen over the day or how Castiel was getting closer to counting the total amount of dots on the ceiling. Dean was enjoying his time with Castiel, he had realised that he was starting to have a crush on the guy but he didn’t make it obvious…well he didn’t think he did.

“Cas I don’t even know what you’re saying to me at the moment! How have you never heard of a 1967 Chevy Impala?” Dean was completely taken aback when Castiel had asked him why he was going on about a baby. And then when he explained it was his car, Castiel had simply said ‘I don’t think I’ve heard of it’

“Dean I am sorry that I have offended you in some way, but I just don’t pay all that much attention to cars”

“Maybe if you paid more attention to cars you wouldn’t have crashed yours”

“Dean I did not crash my car because it was a piece of shit”

“No I know, but if you ever drove my car you wouldn’t dare crash it because I would put the fear of god in to you beforehand” Dean smiled brightly at Castiel, but the glint in his eyes showed that he was only half joking

“Is there a reason I’m in your car in the first place?”

“Well…erm…I mean…we’re friends right…so you can drive my car and stuff” Castiel smiled at Dean, he had started to think of them as friends but he was unsure if Dean had also.

“I’m sure I would have lots of fun driving your…baby” Castiel smiled at Dean, but he seemed somewhat distant and unfocused on their conversation “Dean, are you okay?”

Dean had wanted to ask Castiel about the crash, they had talked about it briefly but nothing more than ‘I crashed in to a lamppost Dean you were there’ and then Castiel would quickly change the subject. “Cas I was wondering if you would tell me what caused your crash” Castiel knew he could only change the subject so many times before he gave Dean what he wanted but he also knew right now wasn’t that time.

“Dean, your last name sounds really familiar to me and I can’t figure out why? Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Dean just sighed but he knew it was a hard thing to talk about

“Yeah I have a brother called Sam, maybe you have hired him or something, I mean he works at a small law firm in town” Castiel frowned he did recognize the name but he still couldn’t place it and he definitely hadn’t hired him before

“I definitely recognize the name but I’ve never met him or anything. This is gonna annoy me so much” Castiel chuckled at himself

“Don’t sweat it, I’m sure it will come to you at some point…Actually why don’t I call him now and ask him if he recognizes your name” Dean smiled and gestured to his phone. He picked it up when Castiel smiled at him. He typed in the first few numbers of Sam’s number and clicked on it when it came up.

_“Sammy, listen do you know a guy called Castiel Novak?”_

_“Ca…Castiel…n-no…but I know Gab...oh…Gabriel”_

_“Sammy, you okay?”_

_“Oh…god…yes”_

_“…talk to you later Sam”_

Dean stared at his phone as he ended the call.

“Dean, you okay?” Castiel was slightly concerned by the sheer look of horror that crossed Dean’s face.

“I…I…think I just heard my brother in the middle of…I don’t even want to know actually” Castiel’s eye’s nearly bugged out of his head as he realised what Dean was saying. Then he could barely hold back the laughter that erupted from him. Dean glared at him and then punched him in the shoulder but it only made Castiel laugh more.

Sam let his head fall back on his chair and dropped his phone on to his desk.

“Gabe…Gabriel…”

“Yes Sam?”

“Why is my brother calling me about your brother?”

“Probably because Deano has been hanging out with him in the hospital. He was the one who saved Cassie”

“Oh okay…what time is it?”

“2:30” Sam’s head shot up and he looked down at Gabriel. He had his hand wrapped around Sam’s cock and was slowly stroking it. “Gabe, you need to stop or leave or something, I have a meeting with Kali in 5 minutes to finish up the paperwork” Gabe smiled up at him but he didn’t stop stroking. Sam’s assistant alerted him that his next appointment was here. Sam pushed Gabriel back and tucked himself back in.

“Sam you’re very hard surely that’s uncomfortable”

“Gabriel I really need you to hide under my desk”

“I’m sorry what?”

“Look she can’t see you here as she is my client and you’re small enough to hide under the desk and she won’t be able to see you because of the wood panel and…”

“Sam! Stop I will hide under the desk” Gabriel moved under the desk and smiled to show Sam that he was okay with it. Sam pulled up to his desk and let his assistant know to send Kali in. She came in the room and smiled at Sam; he stood and gestured to the seat in front of his desk.

“Kali it’s great to see you again. I’m actually really glad that we could wrap this up so quickly, Gabriel has been quite lenient”

“He really has, its very unlike him, he’s usually not so…giving” Sam picked up his phone as a text came through

**From Gabriel/ To Sam**

**I’ll show her how giving I can be ;)**

Sam swallowed thickly as Gabriel ran his hand up his thigh. Sam smiled at Kali and tried to ignore the hand playing with his zip.

“So, I saw Gabriel earlier and he has agreed to all of your terms. He is glad that you have come to an agreement on your shared apartment and asked that you leave the keys here and then he will pick them up when he signs the papers”

“That’s fantastic, I mean I didn’t really want to live in that apartment anyway, but Sam I really wanted to thank you. You’ve been my lawyer for years and you’ve really helped me through this and I would love to thank you with dinner” Sam forced a smile as Gabriel had undone his trousers, reached in to his boxers and pulled out his cock. He felt Gabriel nudge his knee but he refused to look down at him. He opened his mouth to talk to Kali but quickly closed it as he felt Gabriel take the head in to his mouth. He tightened his grip on his pen “Kali that is a great offer but…I don’t date clients”

“Sam, I’m leaving in two days to live in my apartment in New York and if I hadn’t been with Gabriel I probably would have asked you out long ago. I mean you are gorgeous” Kali crossed her legs to try and show off more of her toned legs

“Kali really I…am ver…very…sorry but I really m…uh…ust decline”

“Sam there is no need to be nervous here” Gabriel was busy taking Sam in till he hit the back of his throat but that didn’t stop him from hearing Kali insult him “I mean I haven’t had good sex in about 6 months and that’s only because it was with someone who wasn’t Gabriel”

“Really, I’m sure Gabriel isn’t that bad” Sam let out a little squeak as Gabriel lightly bit down on his cock, Sam glanced down and Gabriel was raising an eyebrow at him.

“Sam…are you okay?”

“What? Yeah I’m great, so good right now” Gabriel started to pick up the pace as he took all of Sam’s cock in to his mouth. He wrapped his hand around the base and built up a rhythm. Gabriel knew Sam was close as his legs tensed and his cock throbbed in his mouth. Sam attempted to cover a moan with a cough but any idiot could probably work out it wasn’t a cough.

“Maybe I should go” Kali just smiled at Sam. His knuckles had turned white as he gripped the arms of his office chair and either he had was getting off on the thought of sex with her or he had someone under his desk. Kali really didn’t want to ask so she quickly put the keys to Gabriel’s apartment on the table, said a quick goodbye and left the room. As she closed the door she heard Sam groan out an ‘Oh my fucking god’

Dean and Castiel had been playing cards for just over an hour. Dean had been teaching Castiel how to play poker and it turned out that Castiel had a pretty awesome poker face. Mostly because he just stared at you till you folded but it worked because it was a slightly terrifying look. Dean suggested he take it up in the big leagues but Cas had just smiled and said that it only worked on Dean because he thought he was cute. Dean folded again and Cas laughed because he liked finding new ways to beat Dean.

“If we were playing for money right now, I would be broke”

“You could have bet your car” Dean stared at Castiel like he was the most evil thing he’d ever seen

“Bet my baby! Would a parent bet their child?”

“They could try but I doubt that’s legal” Castiel deadpanned and Dean couldn’t help but smile at the man

“Dude if you ever suggest betting my baby again then I might just have to stop coming here”

“Now you’re just talking crazy, I mean you wouldn’t really let me suffer here day after day without any excitement would you”

“Don’t worry Cas I’m sure Dr Milton would be great company”

“Dean as much as I love my cousin please don’t joke, I hardly need to hear about his one night stands” Dean stared at Castiel and his mouth dropped

“I’m sorry, what? Michael Milton, the Dr Sexy of the hospital, who is perfect in the eyes of the nurses and patients”

“Yes, he does have one night stands. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a long-term relationship, it would probably take a very important woman”

“I am still reeling from one night stands, I mean that’s definitely something he leaves out, I mean I’ve heard all about his charity work and his attitude to his patients but wow…does he have them often?”

“Are you enquiring because you hope to offer your own services?”

“I’m not offering my services to anyone” Castiel chuckled but it was stifled by a yawn that escaped “You should probably get some sleep Cas, you’ve been up for hours” Castiel just nodded and closed his eyes. He was asleep in minutes. Dean chuckled and pulled the cover up a little higher as the room usually got colder. Dean turned around when someone knocked at the door. There was a tall blonde man stood at the door in jeans and a v-neck.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise anyone would be in here, I just came to see Cassie, I usually come later in the day, so I apologize that we haven’t met yet, are you another doctor?”

“What? Oh no I’m Dean I’m a friend of Castiel’s, who are you exactly?”

“I’m Balthazar, I’m Castiel’s Boyfriend”


	6. Should have just stayed in

“Funny because Cas has never mentioned you”

“And how long have you known him exactly? Dan was it?”

“Dean. And I’ve known him about a week but people usually mention if they have a boyfriend”

“Well we haven’t been dating that long but I come here every day, just go and ask Castiel’s nurse…Lauren”

“I’m gonna be gone no more than 2 minutes so don’t try anything” Dean left the room and made his way over to the nurse’s desk. Lauren smiled up at him when he stopped by the desk.

“Hey Lauren, there’s a guy in Castiel’s room, calls himself Balthazar and he said he’s Cas’s boyfriend”

“Yeah I know him, he’s been coming by ever since Castiel had his accident, Cas doesn’t really mention him though, why?”

“I just wanted to make sure he was who he said he was, Cas has never mentioned him so I was…”

“Worried?” Lauren smiled at Dean and he rubbed the back of his neck as he edged away from the desk, he gave a small smile as he made his way back to Cas’s room. Dean stopped as he heard Cas and Balthazar talking, god he hated that accent. Where the hell was it even from, it probably wasn’t even real, put on or some shit. Dean stopped when he heard Balthazar mention his name.

“He said you never mentioned me, how could you not mention your boyfriend”

“I don’t really talk to him that much; he comes by occasionally to check on me”

“Now Cassie you know I can tell when you’re lying”

“Balthazar I promise you, I don’t even really like him I just…don’t want to turn him away he’s been so nice”

“You’re too nice for you own good Castiel”

“Please he doesn’t mean anything” Dean decided he’d heard enough and left the hospital

                Dean didn’t usually do much on his days off but somehow he managed to do even less this week. He knew it had been a quick friendship but Dean atleast thought it was real. If he’d thought for even a second Cas…Castiel had been keeping him around just to be nice he would never have gone back. He probably thought Dean meant it when he said Cas owed him his life, and now he was being nice as payment but Dean didn’t need fake friends. He had plenty of real ones…they were all just busy tonight.

He tried watching Dr Sexy to take his mind of Castiel but that probably wasn’t the best plan considering it constantly reminded him of Castiel. Stupid Castiel had to ruin his favourite show. Dean had so far drank 3 bottles of beer and it was…oh great…3:17. He’d only been awake for 2 hours and he was frustrated. He’d lain awake till 9 thinking about Castiel’s words ‘He doesn’t mean anything’ and then exhaustion had finally won out and he fell asleep. Now he was sulking and he knew he was sulking but dammit Cas was a good person and Dean had kind of just turned up and forced his way in. Dean sighed and ran his hand over his face; he decided to do something productive. He needed more beer. Dean got his jacket on when someone knocked on his door. He tried standing really still so that the person on the other side would just leave.

“Dean I know you’re in there I’m not stupid” Mary’s voice carried through the door and in to his small apartment. Dean opened the door a little and smiled at his mother.

“Did Sammy send you here?”

“What I can’t visit my son without having a reason” Mary smiled at Dean but it was all a little too innocent for his liking, she sighed and rolled her eyes at him

“Okay so Jo called me and said that you might be down”

“And why would I be down?”

“How about you invite me in first and then we talk” Dean still looked suspicious “I have homemade pie” Dean opened the door wider and let her in. She walked through to the kitchen and set the pie down on the counter. She grabbed two plates out of his cupboard but when she turned back around Dean was already eating the pie out of the box. She walked over and slapped his hand away.

“Did I teach you nothing as a child?” Mary tried to look stern but she couldn’t help her mouth curling up at the corners

“Ha you smiled I’m off the hook! That’s what you taught me as a child” Dean beamed at Mary and continued to dig in to his pie

“So Jo tells me that you’re having troubles of the heart”

“Jeez mom I’ve known the guy like a week and I thought we were friends but I guess I was wrong. I mean he didn’t even tell me he had a boyfriend”

“Ah I see, so you had a little crush on this friend of yours”

“Like I said we’re not really friends, he was just being nice to me”

“I think you should go talk to him on Saturday and find out the truth, I mean sometimes what we hear isn’t always the truth”

“Mom…”

“I’m just saying there could be more. Now I can’t stay because well I’m going to see your father” Dean tried to give her a bright smile but it came out sad, she pulled him in to a hug and he wrapped his arms around her waist

She pulled back just a little to look at him “I haven’t been in a while and today would have been our wedding anniversary so I thought I best go and fill him in on how amazing you two are. Tell him all about your boy trouble and you know I bet he would tell you that you need to know the whole story before judging this guy”

“Yeah mom I know, I’ll talk to the guy on Saturday and find out if he really wants to be friends” Mary gave Dean a quick kiss on the cheek and left his apartment.

Dean sat down to eat his pie but realised he was missing something…more beer. He grabbed his keys and decided to save the gas and just walk to the store. He was half way there when Jo called him.

_‘Hello Jo’_

_‘I take it your mom dropped by already’_

_‘Whatever gave you that idea’_

_‘The monotone voice when you said Hello Jo’_

_‘I’m sorry did you just try and impersonate my voice, because I so don’t sound like that’_

_‘What I went with alcoholic smoker who eats gravel’_

_‘I smoked like one time in high school and I never eat gravel. My voice is soothing and sexy; I mean I could probably be like a sex line operator’_

_‘Okay big boy talk dirty to me’_

_‘Did you actually want something?’_

_‘Yeah for you to touch me in all the right places’_

_‘Jo’_

_‘Say my name again baby’_

_‘I thought I was supposed to be the sex line operator’_

_‘You are I’m just a really enthusiastic customer’_

_‘I’m hanging up now!’_

_‘Okay, listen to deal with your heartbreak I think you should come by the roadhouse later and I’ll buy you a couple drinks and I’ll make you a bacon cheeseburger’_

_‘There’s no heartbreak but the food and drinks would be much obliged’_

_‘You know words like obliged?’_

_‘Goodbye Joanna-Beth’_

During the conversation Dean had made it to the store and was happy to be getting more beer. And then he was even happier at the thought of free beer later and free cheeseburgers. Thursday was turning in to a better day than it had started. Dean grabbed his favourite beer, paid and started the walk back home. It didn’t take him long to get back and he decided he’d head to the Roadhouse about half seven. He debated between another beer and a shower. Beer first, then jump in the shower to sober himself up a little equalled good plan. He settled in to his chair and watched a little more of Dr Sexy, thank god for marathons. He didn’t even think about Cas that much.

6 o’clock rolled around and Dean decided to jump in the shower. He prayed to whoever was listening that there was warm water and that his shitty landlord had fixed the boiler. He stripped off his clothes as he got in to his bedroom and grabbed a towel from his wardrobe. He made his way in to the bathroom and turned on the water. Holy shit did the landlord get off his fat ass for once in his life because there was actual hot water coming out of his pipes. Dean quickly jumped in before it could go cold and enjoyed the warmth of the water. He cleaned himself up and closed his eyes as the water loosened the knots in his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there but he figured he better get out soon because his fingers were starting to wrinkle. He climbed out and shut the water off. He tightened his towel around his hips and got to preparing for his night out. God did he need one; he hadn’t been out in nearly 3 weeks.

He was dressed in a black shirt that was a little tight around his arms but it showed off his muscles so it usually got him some numbers and he had a pair of dark blue jeans that showed off his ass. Dean was dressed to get laid, he needed to get his mind of Castiel and what better way than to drown in beer, food and a warm body. Dean was gonna be a little early but he was sick of sitting around his apartment all day. So he threw his boots on, grabbed his keys and made his way to the Roadhouse.

                3 hours later Dean was drunk. He’d gotten there at seven and he’d had a drink in his hand ever since. He’d eaten the burger but he vaguely remembered what it tasted like now and he just wanted to drown his sorrows. Why was he drowning his sorrows, so what if Castiel didn’t want to be his friend I mean what was he 12? No he was a grown ass man and he could make friends with anyone…especially the little hot red head across the bar. Dean picked up his drink and made his way across the bar to the woman.

“Hey, I’m Dean”

“Nice to meet you Dean, you okay there your swaying a little”

“I might have had one more than I should have but it still doesn’t stop me from seeing how hot you are”

“Oh really, well that’s awfully kind of you Dean”

“Thanks so you want to get outta here”

“Sure, why don’t I drive us to my place”

“Sure beautiful”

“Anna, please”

“Sure Anna”

Dean let Anna lead him to her car and before he knew it they were in her apartment. She had him pushed up against the door and she was kissing down his neck as she removed his shirt. He tried to move but his brain was just too clouded with alcohol to focus on what he was doing. Anna led him in to a room and pushed him on to a bed. She made quick work of his jeans and at some point she had gotten on top of him. She moved his hands to her thighs and started to kiss his chest. Dean tried to really focus but he ended up just hurting his head. He moved his hands over her back and her skin was really soft. She moved back up and Dean’s hands fell to her waist, she pushed herself on to him and he let out a small moan. Dean closed his eyes and tried to think about the movements she made and the noises she was making.

                Dean opened his eyes and was instantly hit with the worst hangover he’d had in years. He moved around but someone had opened the curtains and the sunlight was blinding him. He blinked a few times then realised he doesn’t have purple walls, or dark blue curtains and he was most definitely not in his bed. He pulled himself up and grabbed his clothes. He threw them on before following the smell of coffee. He walked in to the kitchen and found a woman leaning on one of the counters.

“Coffee?” Anna held out a cup to Dean and he quickly inhaled, there was nothing better than coffee

“Thank you very much”

“Anna”

“Huh?”

“My name; you were pretty out of it last night so I doubted you would remember”

“Oh, I’m really sorry”

“It’s okay, honestly even drunk you weren’t half bad” Dean blushed as he honestly remembered nothing about the night before

“What time is it?”

“3 o’clock”

“Shit. I usually don’t sleep so long, why didn’t you wake me?”

“Oh I tried, you kept swatting me away so I just left you”

“Oh”

“Dean, this was a one night stand, you don’t have to stay here and make small talk it’s okay”

Dean quickly drained his coffee handed his cup back to Anna and awkwardly thanked her for the sex before he realised what he was saying. He made sure he didn’t leave anything and left her apartment. Once he was outside he unfortunately realised that he was actually on the other side of town and had no car. He sighed as he started walking towards the roadhouse to pick up his baby.

                He didn’t get home till 5pm. It wasn’t a bad thing, he’d gotten some fresh air and it had helped clear his head a little, but driving his baby was what mostly cleared his head. He was happy when he walked in to his apartment. The first thing he did was eat the pie he’d left over from yesterday. The pie was delicious and if he would gladly live off pie for the rest of his life. He finished his pie with a satisfied sigh and moved to the couch. He flicked through channels till he settled on shark week. He fell asleep to the sight of a great white tearing in to another shark. When he woke up he dragged himself to his bathroom. He peeled off his clothes and tossed them in the hamper. He really only needed a quick shower to make him feel better. He padded in to his bedroom and didn’t bother putting any clothes on before climbing in to bed. He thought about seeing Castiel tomorrow and asking about his side of the story. His mom was right he needed to know the whole conversation not just one part of it. Sleep came easier to Dean that night, probably due to the remainder of his hangover or the pie or the relaxing shower. He quickly set his alarm for a little earlier than usual so he could go and see Cas beforehand.

                Dean woke up before his alarm but he didn’t really mind. He was actually looking forward to seeing Cas today and finding out who the hell Balthazar was. Maybe he was Cas’s boyfriend but clearly not a good one or Cas would have mentioned him before now…right? Dean threw on his clothes and had some cereal. He hummed along to the radio as he ate and actually read the newspaper. God knows why he had the thing delivered he barely ever read it but it was nice to have the option. He washed out his bowl and lingered in the kitchen for a little…well he didn’t want to seem too eager. He grabbed his keys and walked down to his car. He then had to run back upstairs because he’d left his work bag. When he finally collected all his stuff he ran down to his car. He jumped in and headed off to work. He parked in his usual spot and listened to the radio for a few minutes. He couldn’t really hold himself back any longer so he climbed out the car, remembered his bag and walked in the hospital. He dropped his bag off in the staffroom and made his way down to Castiel’s room. He took a deep breath before he entered then went in. But Cas wasn’t in bed, and he wasn’t in the bathroom. Dean doubled back and went to the nurse’s desk.

“Lauren where’s Cas?” The smile on her face turned to confusion as she heard his question. She looked at her computer and then back at him “Dean, Castiel was released from the hospital, he left yesterday”


	7. You listen to me!

It had been just over a week since Castiel had checked out of the hospital. Balthazar had insisted that Castiel come home so he could take care of him. This meant that Castiel was on bed rest, he got up to go to the bathroom and then Balthazar made sure he was back in bed. Castiel was just waiting for the moment he snapped. He knew it wouldn’t be much longer. Balthazar came in to the room and leaned against the doorframe.

“I just talked to Gabriel”

“Really, what did he say?”

“He asked me if you’d spoken to _Dean_ since you left the hospital” He spat Dean’s name out as though it personally offended him. Castiel tensed as Balthazar came closer to him. “I thought you said he meant nothing to you”

“He doesn’t, Gabriel liked him”

“You’re telling me that your brother likes Dean and that’s why he’s wondering about him”

“Ye…yeah” Castiel recoiled as he felt the sharp sting of Balthazar’s slap across his cheek

“I don’t like being lied to Castiel” Balthazar moved his hand over Castiel’s cheek and gently stroked the red mark “I want the truth Castiel. Did you prefer spending time with Dean over me?” Castiel tried to turn away from Balthazar’s hand but he forced him to look at him. Castiel cleared his throat to try and give himself some time. He couldn’t lie, he was the worst liar but he knew if he told the truth Balthazar wouldn’t really want to hear it.

“Dean was a good company and he…” Castiel screamed as Balthazar pushed down on the rib he broke, although it had been weeks since the accident his body was still sensitive to everything and although his lung had been repaired any pressure on his chest still left him breathless and in more pain.

“Would you rather he was here with you now?” Balthazar kept his hand gripped on to Castiel’s side as he spoke

“No” Castiel tried to sniff back the tears that had escaped his eyes and continued to stare in to Balthazar’s eyes. He felt Balthazar’s hand relax on his waist and he placed a kiss to Castiel’s temple before leaving the room.

Castiel’s leg was still in a cast and he wouldn’t be able to get it off for 3 weeks. He could tell Gabriel about Balthazar but what if he hurt Gabriel, then that would be Castiel’s fault and this was his fault already. He should never have asked Dean to stay in the first place, it had just come out. Dean had saved his life and he didn’t think he owed Dean anything but he could hardly just say ‘Thanks for saving me and all but you can leave now’. Castiel wiped his face as the tears continued to fall, he’d tried to stop thinking about Dean but he couldn’t help it. If he was honest he would admit that he had developed somewhat of a crush on Dean. It sounds so childish though a crush like he was a little kid writing I heart Dean on everything. Castiel rolled his eyes at his own imagination. He tried to shift his weight so that he could sleep better but that stupid cast made it difficult. He had to settle with just shuffling a little further under the quilts and trying to sleep that way.

                Castiel rubbed his eyes to wake himself up. His whole body tensed as an arm slung over his waist. He turned his head towards the body beside him and sighed with relief when Gabriel stared up at him.

“Hey”

“What do you want Gabriel?”

“I wanted to let you know that this weekend I won’t be home”

“What? Why?”

“Jeez don’t worry; I’m staying with Sam this weekend”

“Are you sure you want to spend the whole weekend with him?”

“Well yeah I mean he’s picking me up Saturday morning and then were gonna spend the day at the beach or something, I don’t really know but dinner and a movie should be great”

“Right of course and I guess this is your first weekend as a couple”

“It sure is, and there will be plenty of sex and other stuff”

“Do you really have to tell me there will be plenty of sex?”

“Yes I do. Now the real reason I am in your bed”

“Gabe why haven’t you moved out yet? Kali gave your apartment back, so why are you still here?”

“I’m having the whole place redecorated. Kali did it the first time and man do I hate her style so yeah I wanted it all new”

“Okay, but you’re sure about this weekend?”

“Yes, wait a second, are you trying to make sure I’m gone so you can have a sex fest or something with Balthazar because it’s about time little brother”

“Yeah that’s totally it; I really can’t hide things well”

“You can’t hide anything from me I’m your big brother” Gabriel smiled at Castiel before getting off the bed, he walked out of the room and came back with a pair of crutches

“Michael told me to give these to you like 2 weeks ago and I…erm…forgot”

“You forgot to give me the things that would help me walk”

“I’m sorry but here you can use them now and stuff” Gabriel edged the crutches on to the bed and quickly stepped back so Castiel couldn’t swing for him. Gabriel helped Castiel pull his legs over the side of the bed and stand up.

“So when does Balthazar get back?”

“He comes over after work so about 5”

“You talked to Dean at all”

“Why would I?”

“Cassie seriously you and he seemed to get along really well and I thought you liked each other”

“Well you thought wrong okay” Castiel knew he shouldn’t snap at Gabriel but he just wished that he hadn’t mentioned Dean to Balthazar. Not that Gabriel really thought it would make Balthazar angry at him because...

“I’m sorry Cassie I didn’t mean to think otherwise it’s just you don’t seem to make many friends and then when you and him were hanging out you would smile like you did when you were a kid”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying that recently you’ve isolated yourself, from me, your co-workers, our family and I haven’t seen you smile that much since when you were a kid”

“Get out”

“What?”

“Get out! Now!” Gabriel stumbled back from Castiel. He’d barely ever heard Castiel raise his voice to anyone, especially him, he’d been putting up with his shit for years and never said anything. “Fine”

                Castiel watched as Gabriel left his apartment. He knew he was right he had been pulling away from everyone for months; he just couldn’t risk anyone knowing what was happening to him. He didn’t want people to talk about him or treat him differently because he deserved this, he deserved what Balthazar did. Balthazar was right who could want him after this, he was pathetic he couldn’t even stand up for himself but he loved Balthazar he was sure of that. Castiel let himself fall in to the wall behind him and closed his eyes. He slid down the wall and pulled his good leg up to his chest. He used to do this when he was a kid; when his parents would fight he would sit in the corner of his room and hug himself as tight as he could. It made him feel safer and right now all he wanted was to feel safe, so he sat in the corner hugging his knee to his chest till he felt safe.

                It took a few hours but Castiel forced himself up. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning and his body was making sure he knew. He picked up his crutches and hobbled in to the kitchen. He used one crutch to steady himself and prepared his dinner with the other. He couldn’t really make more than a microwave meal but it was good enough. He set his food down on the table and settled himself in to one of the chairs. Castiel glanced at the clock on his oven Balthazar would be back soon. He picked at his food for a little bit before just pushing it away. He was too tired to eat; he left his food on the table and hobbled his way back to his bedroom. He got himself comfortable and then picked up the book he had been reading.

                He’d only been reading for about an hour when he heard his apartment door open and close. He guessed it was Balthazar, who else would just walk in to his place. He figured he would just continue reading until Balthazar came to see him. That idea was cut short.

“Castiel, come to the kitchen?” Castiel grabbed his crutches and slowly made his way to the kitchen

“How did you know I got my crutches?”

“I didn’t, I just simply didn’t care how you got in here”

“What did you want?”

Balthazar was holding the plate of food Castiel had left “I want you to explain to me why you have wasted this food that I bought for you”

“I just wasn’t hungry anymore” Castiel flinched away as the plate hit the wall beside him

“Unless you were starving I would expect you to make nothing” Balthazar stalked towards Castiel and grabbed his arm. He started dragging him towards the bedroom, Castiel tried to keep hold of his crutches but he lost one as Balthazar dragged him away.

“Balthazar please this is hurting my leg”

“Do you really think for one second I actually care” Balthazar pushed Castiel on to the floor as he stood over him. Castiel tried to pull himself over to the corner but Balthazar stopped him “Don’t think I’m gonna let you go to your little safety corner” He yanked Castiel up by his arms and brought him close to his face “When I do something nice for you I expect you to show gratitude” He shoved him back in to the mirror hanging from the wall and it cracked on impact. Castiel crumpled to the floor and tried to pull himself out of the room. The mirror hit the floor and the glass shattered across the room. Balthazar walked in front of Castiel and grabbed on to his hair, he yanked him up by it.

“I don’t know why I ever wanted you, I mean look at you now crawling on the floor like an insect” Balthazar pulled his head back and leant in close to his ear “You think Dean would want you now? Did he even want you in the first place?” Castiel let out a cry as Balthazar pushed him back to the floor; he felt the shards of the mirror digging in to his back.  Balthazar laughed as Castiel tried to push himself up and away from the pain in his back. Castiel closed his eyes as he prepared for Balthazar to hit him but it never came. He heard skin impact on skin but nobody was hitting him. He opened his eyes to see a very tall, brown haired man standing in front of Balthazar.

“Castiel?”

“You must be Sam”

“Yeah, Gabriel sent me over to get some clothes for him. I doubt he thought I’d find this asshole” Sam helped Castiel get back on to the bed and then went over to Balthazar who was sprawled on the floor, Balthazar groaned as Sam pulled him up by the scruff of his jacket. Castiel tried to settle himself back but there was shooting pains all up his back. Sam hauled Balthazar to the front door and threw him out “Stay the fuck away asshole” and then promptly shut the door in his face. Sam made his way back to Castiel.

“Do you want me to call Gabriel?”

“Would you mind?”

“Of course not he’s actually sitting in my car”

Sam left the room and made the call. It rang four times before he picked up.

_‘Dean’_

_‘Yeah Sammy what’s up?’_

_‘Where are you?’_

_‘Just finished a 12 hour shift, why?’_

_‘I need you to help me’_

_‘Why? What happened? Are you okay?’_

_‘It’s not me dumbass. It’s Castiel’_

_‘He doesn’t need my help’_

_‘Dean please, his boyfriend hurt him pretty bad I need your help’_

_‘Fine. I’m doing this for you’_

_‘Yeah sure you are. He lives…’_

_‘I know where he lives’_

_‘…’_

_‘I’m not creepy Sam. I did talk to the guy for a week and he mentioned it’_

_‘Okay just get here quick’_

_‘Yeah yeah I was already in my baby’_

_‘Thanks Dean’_ Sam hung up the phone and text Gabriel

**To Gabriel/From Sam**

**You need to come upstairs now. Castiel’s boyfriend is a colossal dick, Castiel needs you.**

Sam walked back in to the bedroom and found Castiel lying on his stomach.

“Erm…Castiel”

“Oh hey Sam, can you do me a weird favour and cut my shirt off”

“What?”

“It’s sticking to the blood on my back and my arms hurt and I can’t lift them at the moment” Sam looked in a couple draws and found a pair of scissors, he cut the sleeves and the sides and carefully pulled the shirt away from Castiel’s back. There were tiny cuts all over and sharper bits of glass were still stuck in his skin.

“What the hell happened in here?” Sam whipped his head around to see Gabriel taking in the room. There were glass shards all over the floor; some with blood on them, the small table at the end of Castiel’s bed was broken as Balthazar had landed on it when Sam punched him and Castiel was sprawled over the bed with Sam holding his cut up shirt.

“I’m not too sure you might wanna ask Castiel” Sam turned around to hear the answer but Castiel had drifted off

“Gabe lets go in the living-room, okay?”

“Okay” Gabe let Sam lead him to the couch in the front room “Why does my baby brother have glass sticking out of his back and why aren’t we doing anything about it?”

“Gabriel we are, I already called Dean and he looked exhausted so be glad he’s sleeping and not feeling any pain” Gabriel just nodded at Sam, there wasn’t much he could do at the moment and it probably was better if Castiel just slept.

                Sam was out of his seat the second someone knocked on the door. He pulled it open and Dean had finally arrived with his first aid bag in tow.

“Where is he?”

“Bedroom” Dean quickly made his way to the bedroom and saw Castiel sprawled on his bed with his cast leg hanging off the edge.

“Sam I’m gonna need a bowl of warm water to clean his back, and a pair of tweezers, I have some but I think there’ll be too big for the glass in his back” Sam left to get the warm and to check the bathroom for the tweezers

“Dean, do you think he’ll be okay?”

“Physically of course”

“Just not…”

“Gabriel I don’t know, okay, if you wanted that answer you shoulda called Michael. I think it’s better if you go sit in the living room or kitchen or just somewhere that’s not here”

“Dean here I got what you needed”

“A clean cloth would be helpful Sam”

“Oh sorry”

Sam came back a couple minutes later with a clean cloth. He set what Dean needed on the drawers beside him and took Gabriel in to the kitchen. Dean took a deep breath and tried to wake Castiel. He gently shook his shoulder till Castiel grumbled and opened his eyes.

“Dean?”

“Hey Cas”

“What are you doing here?”

“Fixing you up, I just wanted to make sure you knew it was me and not…”

“Balthazar. Yeah Dean its fine”

“So your boyfriend is kind of an asshole”

“I think that’s putting it lightly and he’s not really my boyfriend”

“So what is he?” Dean started to wipe the blood from his back, he was being careful of each cut as he didn’t want cause any further damage.

“He was a mistake, you know it’s his fault I crashed my car”

“What? How?”

“I mean not really but the night before I came home and he was actually in my bed with my cousin. I mean my cousin. She ran out and he actually tried to defend his actions, but I just lost it I told him to get the hell out and that we were over and he left…” Dean absently rubbed circles in to Castiel’s shoulder to calm him down “I thought that was it. Then the next day I was driving to work and he rang me and I was staring at my phone in disbelief so much that I didn’t realise I had swerved on to the wrong side of the road”

“Cas I need to take the glass out of your back okay, so why don’t you try telling me a story to distract yourself” Dean sanitized the tweezers as best he could and got to pulling out the glass. Cas hissed in pain each time, he took a deep breath and decided on something to tell Dean.

“It’s my birthday next week and my family is throwing a party at Michaels house, he has a bigger house so it makes sense. I really wish he would settle down you know and stop with all the one night stands I mean really you can only live off them for so long. You ever had a one night stand Dean?” Castiel hissed as Dean pulled a larger piece of glass from his back.

“Not recently, only a couple years ago”

“Well I think I’ve had one in my whole life, I suppose you wouldn’t need to have one what with your girlfriend” Dean stopped what he was doing to lean closer to Cas

“What girlfriend?”

“Jo”

“Jo! Oh my god no Jo is my partner…oh…I meant she was my partner on the ambulance”

“Oh that clears up a lot of things actually”

“Like what?”

“Well you flirting with me for one”

“Like I was the only one, now stop distracting me from my job, and tell me who you invited to the party”

“Well Nurse Ackles, I mean Lauren, she hits me when I call her Nurse Ackles. I know Sam will go and I called the theatre teacher Miss Bradbury, Charlie I think you’d like her she’s pretty cool. Speaking of you, I would really like it if you would come with me”

“As your date?”

“Only if you want, I wouldn’t want to force you or anything”

“I would love to, but can I bring Jo maybe she could find a guy”

“We could always set her up with Michael”

“Like a blind date?”

“Yeah just tell her it’s my cousin and he’s a great guy”

“I doubt I’ll have to sell him that much she’s desperate”

“I don’t think she would appreciate that”

“Then don’t tell her” Dean chuckled as he pulled the last shard of glass out of Castiel’s back “Okay that’s all the glass, so I just gotta clean you up, cover your cuts and then we’ll be done” Dean used the cloth to clean the wounds before covering them with gauze and medical tape.

“Thank you so much for doing this Dean, I know I don’t really deserve your help after I just up and left the hospital”

“Cas it’s okay, I’m not mad I understand, I mean I don’t totally understand the situation but I get you were doing what he wanted”

“Dean would you mind getting some warmer water”

“What? Oh right sorry, I’ll be right back” Castiel was very tired and he knew Dean wouldn’t fully understand the situation but he just wished that he could tell him that he didn’t do what Balthazar wanted because he was scared or anything he was doing it to protect Dean. Balthazar never liked Castiel talking to other men, especially ones that looked like Dean. He was just trying to make sure that Balthazar wouldn’t hurt Dean because of him.

“So I’ve warmed the water and I’m nearly finished anyway and then I’ll get out of your hair I guess”

“I know this is weird to ask but would you, Gabe and Sam mind staying here tonight”

“Cas don’t worry Sam and Gabe are already getting ready for bed in his room, you know once Sam actually got him to calm down and not go hunt Balthazar down. And I can sleep on the couch”

“Thank you Dean, it means a lot I kinda like having my own personal paramedic”

“Hey, I am not just for you, I’m like Batman out there saving lives” Castiel started to laugh as Dean finished on his back “I could be Batman”

“Okay Dean, I’m sure you would look amazing in a bat mobile ambulance and leather”

“I look fantastic in leather”

“You should come as Batman to my party”

“Is it a dress up party?”

“No, I just think we need some entertainment”

“Oh aren’t you downright hilarious” Dean moved off the bed and started tidying away everything he’d used. Castiel straightened himself up on the bed and laid down carefully trying not to irritate his back.

“Erm…do you want me to clean up the glass?”

“Just leave it for tonight, its late and I really need to rest”

“Okay how about tomorrow we plan your birthday or something?”

“I’d really like that, again thank you Dean”

“It’s really no problem” Before Dean could really stop himself he pressed a kiss to Cas’s cheek, he pulled back giving Cas a shy smile. He backed out of the room mumbling random responses; he banged his shoulder on the door frame as he left the room and gave a slight wave to Cas. “Night Cas”

“Night Batman” Cas pulled the covers over himself and fell asleep thinking about his birthday plans.


	8. Time to plan

It had been a five days since Castiel had seen Balthazar, he hadn’t really been thinking about it if he was honest. He had thrown himself in to planning his birthday party with the help of Dean and Gabriel.

“So how many people can fit in Michael’s house?” Dean counted the number of people Cas had decided to invite

“He has a fairly large house so about 30 but I think people will be outside as well so we could have 40 people”

“Let’s just equal it out to 50”

“Gabriel”

“Cassie come on 50 people is a compromise”

“How do you get 50 as a compromise between 30 and 40?”

“Bigger is always better”

“Gabe I knew you were self-conscious about your height but I didn’t think you thought like that”

“Good things come to those who wait”

“Are you asking me to postpone the party?”

“See a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Patience is a virtue”

“Okay seriously are you asking me to put off my party”

“Curiosity killed the cat”

“GABRIEL”

“Huh…what?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Nothing I just wanted to see how long I could be weird _until you used a swear word_ ” Gabriel used a childish voice for his last few words

“Wanna see how far I go till I punch you in the face?”

“Someone clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning” Gabriel danced out of the door as Castiel lunged for him “See you later Cassie” Castiel straightened himself up and turned to Dean; who was hunched over the list and had his fist pressed in to his mouth

“Whatcha doin’ there Dean?”

“Me…n’thin”

“Why don’t you look at me then?”

“I’m good” Castiel walked closer to Dean till he was right beside him. He leant in close to Dean’s ear and whispered “Do you wanna laugh Dean?”

“No”

“You look like you wanna laugh”

“Not on my mind”

“What is on your mind?”

“List” Dean let out a little snort as he tried to prevent himself from laughing at Castiel and Gabriel’s relationship. He liked Gabriel, he was a little odd but Sam really liked him and if he made Sammy happy then he was happy. Unless he hurts Sammy then the little shit will never be found.

“Really I was really hoping that maybe it would be me on your mind maybe me wearing a little less than I am now” Castiel smirked as Dean stilled his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, he could see Dean trying to look at him from the corner of his eye.

“B…but you’re in boxers” Castiel looked down at himself and pulled at the waistband of his boxers before saying “Shame isn’t it” Castiel stroked his hand over Dean’s shoulder before leaving the kitchen “I’m just gonna go jump in the shower”

Dean leaned against the counter and thought about Castiel. He wished he was having more PG thoughts rather than R thoughts. Stupid Castiel. After Dean had kissed him on the cheek and backed out of the room like an idiot Cas had been teasing him. It had only been five days since but Dean was trying not to push Castiel, yet Castiel didn’t see it the same way as Dean as he was pushing all of Dean’s buttons. Dean heard the shower shut off and he decided to make coffee. He’d been spending all his free time with Castiel. He’d been coming over in between shifts and had been sleeping on Cas’s couch. Castiel had probably already figured it out but Dean and Gabriel had been taking shifts to stay with Cas just in case Balthazar decided to come back. So far they’d heard nothing but they didn’t want to take chances so Dean slept on the couch.

                Dean turned when he heard Castiel thump in to the kitchen. He reckoned that Castiel was probably quiet usually but with the cast you could hear him coming a mile off. When Dean looked at Castiel he was wearing blue boxer briefs and a black t-shirt that clung to his body, he was holding a pair of grey sweat pants.

“You forget how to put pants on?”

“No Gabriel usually helps me get them on but since he’s not here do you think you can help me?” Castiel gave Dean a bright smile that seemed far too innocent for him not to be suspicious. He walked over to Castiel and grabbed the sweatpants.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“No it’s fine you can just kneel down and do it”

“Sure I’ll just get on my knees for you” Dean mumbled as he knelt in front of Castiel and became painfully aware just how close his face was to Cas’s crotch. Dean was gentle with Cas’s bad leg and stretched the sweatpants over the cast. Castiel leaned on Dean’s shoulder as he put his foot through the other leg on the sweatpants. Castiel straightened up and the sweatpants pooled around his ankles.

“Really guys in the kitchen?” Castiel whipped his head round to smirk at Sam and Gabriel and then laughed as Dean fell back on his ass.

“It’s pretty hard to say no to Dean” That brought Dean’s attention back as he looked between Cas, Cas’s crotch, and Sam and Gabriel.

“No I was helping him get his pants on”

“Deano there is really no reason to make excuses, I mean Cassie is one stubborn bitch and he doesn’t let anyone put his pants on for him” Dean looked up to see Castiel smirking at him as he bent down to pull his sweatpants up.

“See Dean he puts his own pants on”

“You know I don’t really know why I’m even shocked this isn’t the first time you’ve done someone in the kitchen”

“Sammy! He’s setting me up…I didn’t…there was no…I wasn’t”

“Sure Dean I believe you. Look I'm just here to pick Gabe up and were gonna grab some of his clothes and we’ll be out of your hair” Sam and Gabriel left the room and as soon as they were out of sight Dean could hear the laughter coming from the both. He jumped up and glared at Castiel, who was leaning against the counter smiling at Dean.

“You knew they would walk in, didn't you?”

“Are you suggesting that at some point today Gabe told me that he was going out to meet Sam and that's where he went earlier”

“Maybe...”

"And that when I got out of the shower he text me to tell me he was on his way back and should be 10 minutes tops" Castiel smiled brightly at Dean

"Jackass" Castiel laughed as Dean gave him his best glare. Dean stopped glaring before he turned around and tipped Castiel’s pot of coffee down the sink. Castiel stopped laughing and squinted his eyes at Dean. “Bastard” Dean smiled as he sauntered past Castiel. Sam and Gabriel shouted their goodbyes through and left to go to Lunch. Dean came back in and took a seat at the dining table.

“Okay so you’ve got to go to the hospital today for a check-up. Michael’s orders not mine and call me when you’re done and I’ll meet you out front”

“Why where are you going?”

“I am going for coffee with Jo and talk to her about this blind date”

“Shall I mention it to Michael?”

“Well it’s totally up to you but probably since we don’t want him bringing a date”

“Michael would never bring a date”

“Fine a booty call”

“You didn’t just say booty call”

“What that’s what they are?”

“You sound like Michael. When was your last booty call?”

“Like two years ago or something been a long time since I picked anyone up just for sex” No it hasn’t Winchester “I barely do that anymore” Like three weeks ago “I don’t have a reason to really” You were depressed that Castiel didn’t want to be your friend, remember, you sounded like a child “Just looking for relationships now” Why are you still telling him this. Change the damn subject. “You?” That was changing the subject in your mind.

“Erm…well I’ve been in a “relationship” for the last few months but I haven’t had one in years, not really my kind of thing”

“Awesome” Did you just say awesome to that…really? “I mean not awesome obviously but awesome if you’re not in to that kind of thing and you prefer relationships with trust and honesty and faith” Aren’t those like the same…wow this ship is going down…internal monologue out.

“Dean you okay?”

“Yeah me I’m great, just over thinking stuff” Castiel handed Dean a cup of coffee and smiled. Dean lifted it to his lips and took a big swig as Castiel said “Just think of me naked” Dean inhaled too quickly and the coffee choked him on the way down his throat. He started coughing so much that Castiel had to pat him on the back. Dean finally settled down and took a couple deep breaths to clear his head when Castiel’s lips brushed his ear “You might have to work on that gag reflex if you’re gonna get on your knees again” Castiel kissed him on the now very red cheek and left the room.

                Dean helped Castiel in to the back of the impala and stretched him along the seat. It was easier for his leg when he was in the back rather than the front. Dean spent the whole ride trying to ignore Castiel as he stroked the back of Dean’s neck. Dean kept trying to swat him away but Castiel would only stop for a couple of minutes before starting again. It took Dean a little longer to get to the hospital than usual but that had everything to do with the fact that traffic was bad…on the empty roads.

                They walked inside and got the elevator up to the fourth floor where Michael’s office was situated. Dean left Castiel at his office and headed towards the work room next to the staff work room. He knew Jo would be in there as she had been taking care of the paperwork for the past 3 days. He knocked on the open door and smiled at Jo when she looked up.

“I need to talk to you”

“Is it about your crush on Castiel?”

“No actually but I do have more to tell you about that”

“Still teasing you?”

“Earlier he had me on my knees in front of him when Sam and Gabriel walked in”

“And he set that up?”

“Yes the bastard did”

“Dean I don’t understand why you won’t just get even”

“Because he was beaten by his boyfriend five days ago remember…”

“Yeah I know what happened but don’t you think he’d rather you treated him like any other person you have a crush on rather than like he’s broken”

“I guess”

“So then take my damn advice and you know 2 can play at that game and everything”

“Fine I’ll let you know how it goes but that’s actually not what I wanted to talk about”

“Okay?”

“How would you feel about going on a blind date with Castiel’s cousin?”

“His cousin?”

“Yes his attractive, wealthy, smart, charming cousin”

“How attractive”

“He has a six pack”

“Okay when?”

“His birthday party on Thursday, you’d have 5 days to prepare”

“I would usually need more time but I haven’t had sex in like 3 months thanks to this job so sure why the hell not”

“Awesome, well I guess he better get to Cas”

“Dean don’t forget to get even” Jo winked at Dean before he let the room chucking. Could he really get even with Castiel I mean the guy was injured and…oh fuck it he’d been teasing Dean for five days. Dean deserved some kind of award and getting back at Cas was gonna be it. Dean was walking back towards Michael’s office when he heard someone shouting him.

“Dr Milt…Michael, I thought you’d be in with Cas”

“A patient of mine has crashed three times today so at the moment I’m behind on everything but I was hoping to catch you”

“Is everything alright?”

“Oh yeah its fine but Castiel never tells me the truth about how much pain he’s in or if he has any problems so Gabriel will usually tell me because it tends to be quiet personal but he said it would be better to ask you as your with him more”

“Oh yeah I am I can answer anything…I think”

“Okay great. So first has been overexerting himself or anything like that?” Dean smiled at Michael for handing his revenge on a silver platter.

“Well I’ve seen him pushing himself on certain things but I’m not sure if I should tell you as you’re his cousin”

“Dean I understand this is awkward for you and uncomfortable for me but I have to know as his doctor”

“Well I stay on the couch and I don’t think he knows I know but he’s had a few booty calls lately”

“And you believe he’s pushing himself too much with these”

“If it was just him on the bottom then I would say he’d be okay but as it is walking in on Cas pounding in to some dude over the dining table well if the sweating and the inability to walk the next day were anything to go by then yeah he’s overexerting himself” Michael looked scarred. Mentally scarred and Dean was trying to keep a straight face to not give away his lie but it was pretty difficult right now.

“He couldn’t walk the next day?”

“Yeah he said it was way too painful to move”

“Anything else I should know?”

“I gotta be honest I’ve tried telling him to hold back you know but he’s so stubborn about it and he says he can do it and I’m an EMT, I can only imagine how you must be feeling about this” Michael gave Dean a small smile and started to walk towards his office “Michael I’m not sure if it matters…nah never mind”

“Dean if it’s important I need to know”

“Well he doesn’t pay attention to me but maybe you could mention the use of condoms, I mean I’ve seen atleast three different guys”

“He’s not using…three”

“I say three but it could be more I mean I sleep through most of his visitors”

“Thank you Dean, I know Castiel would never tell me the truth about this”

“Michael honestly I’m just looking out for Castiel, I worry about his activities sometimes” Michael patted Dean on the shoulder before leaving for his office. Dean headed back to the parking lot to wait in his car for Castiel.

                Michael ushered Castiel in to his office he didn’t have long to spare and he obviously had to have a serious talk with him.

“Michael I really don’t understand why you insisted on me coming for a check-up I’m fine”

“I spoke to Dean”

“And what did he say?”

“He told me what happened in the kitchen”

“I wasn’t serious, I was just messing around”

“Castiel I understand messing around I do it myself but I am atleast safe about it”

“I wasn’t really in danger”

“You don’t know that. Did you ask these men if they were clean and even if they said yes they could be lying”

“What?”

“Just tell me how many have there been”

“What are we talking about?”

“You and your booty calls. Dean told me about what he caught you doing in the dining room the other day”

“Michael…wait…”

“Castiel I am a doctor and to hear that my own cousin is being incredibly unsafe is a little upsetting I have to say”

“I haven’t…”

“I don’t have time for excuses, I am a very busy person and clearly if you are well enough to have sex with more than three men in the past 5 days then you don’t need a check-up but for god sake man atleast cover yourself so I don’t have to treat you when you have an STD”

“Is this how you talk to all your patients?”

“Just the idiots I’m related to. Gabriel gets the same treatment every time he breaks something”

“Michael you have to know that I never…”

“Castiel please I really don’t want to discuss your unsafe sex life anymore”

“Can I talk now?”

“Yes”

“I’m bringing you a blind date on my birthday”

“Seriously I was just gonna call around and see who would show up”

“Okay seriously I can’t have sex with random men but you can invite a bunch of random women”

“I’m very safe”

"I'm not even having sex with random men"

"Just go Castiel your just gonna embarrass yourself"

"Are you kidding?!"

"I am busy and don't be mad at Dean for telling me, he was just looking out for your best interests"

"Oh believe me I'm not gonna be mad, I am very grateful and I'll make sure knows"

"Good. Now get out and I'll see you on Thursday with my date" Castiel smiled at Michael as he hobbled out of the office. Dean was so dead.

                Dean jumped when the passenger door was yanked open by Castiel. He had been starting to doze off in the car.

“Oh sorry did I wake you!” Apparently Michael had spoken with him, Dean tried to look normal but he wanted to laugh more than anything.

“I was just waiting for you, how did it go with Michael?”

“Well I was wondering if you could explain to me why I had a 20 minute discussion about all the random unsafe sex I’ve been having!” And that was it, Dean couldn’t hold back his laughter and he had to clutch his sides to try and stop the pain that was coming from laughing so much. Castiel sat in the front of the car and slammed the door shut.

“I understand your mad but hurting me is one thing my baby is another and I will not hesitate to leave you here” Castiel grumbled an apology as Dean started the car.

“Why don’t we go for a drive?”

“Cas you serious?”

“Yeah it might be nice, get out of town go sit by a lake somewhere or we can just drive” Dean nodded enthusiastically and started driving out of town. As soon as the traffic thinned out Castiel spoke.

“You know Dean I uphold a certain reputation in my family”

“Okay…”

“One where I do not sleep with random people like my cousin”

“Uhuh”

“This is something I used to mock him with when he would mock me for being a teacher” Castiel put his hand on Dean’s knee “But you see now he thinks I’m worse than him” he moves his hand further up and he feels Dean tense and he tries to keep focused on the road “Now I have nothing to mock him for because he’ll throw this right back in my face” his hand moves up and settles on Dean’s thigh his fingers brushing against his balls “Do you see my problem?” Dean releases the breath he was holding as he says yes “Good because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to realise the punishment” Castiel moves his hand up to unbutton and unzip his pants.

“Cas I’m still driving and this is super dangerous right now because I’m finding it hard to focus so you should stop” Castiel slipped his hand in the open jeans and started to stroke Dean’s cock over his tight black boxer briefs

“I have to say Dean I had no idea you would get turned on so quickly” Dean’s face went red he had gotten hard pretty damn quick almost as bad as he was in high school when someone just had to mention breasts or dick and he was up. He sucked in a breath as Castiel moved his head closer to Dean’s cock and tried to focus on the road. “And now Dean for your punishment” If it hadn’t been so painfully quiet in the car Dean never would have heard him. He felt Castiel remove his hand and his breath ghosted over his cock…and then before he knew it his jeans were buttoned and zipped back up and Castiel was sitting up like nothing had happened.

“You’re an ass” That had Castiel cracking up and for the rest of the drive he couldn’t look at Dean without laughing. 


	9. Birthday Surprise

It was Castiel’s birthday. It wasn’t one of those milestone birthdays like 18th or 21st but it was the first birthday where everything was perfect. Balthazar hadn’t so much as called since Sam had kicked him out and he only had to wear his cast for another week. To top it all off Dean had been at his house every day since Balthazar. He knew that it was Dean and Gabriel worrying about him but he pretended like he didn’t know so they could seem useful. Castiel was currently getting dressed for his birthday party. They were holding it at Michael’s house as it was bigger than Castiel’s apartment plus it’s easier to set him up. Oh setting him up was not easy, yes it was easy getting Michael and Jo to agree to go on the date but what he hadn’t been expecting was the questions after. Michael had clearly let curiosity get the better of him and he had called Castiel a day later to play a game of 20 questions.

‘What does she look like?’

‘Is she blonde? Brunette? Ginger? Black? Green? Red?’

‘Do I know her?’

‘Does she work at the hospital?’

Dean had explained that he received similar questions from Jo and he too was getting annoyed with the daily call or text. But thank god they would meet tonight and both stop asking…unless they don’t like each other and then it’s going to go awful and Michael will be mad at…no it’s going to be great. Castiel buttoned up his light blue shirt and pulled up his black jacket. He looked in his new mirror and smiled at himself…then he looked down at his bare legs and sighed. He really didn’t want to put himself in to a pair of trousers he was much more comfy in his sweats. He looked at the trousers he would be wearing tonight, one and a half pant legs to make room for his cast. He sat on the bed and forced his trousers up and over the cast; they were just long enough that the leg went to the top of the cast. Dean smiled at Castiel from the doorway and walked over to him.

“You look great, don’t worry”

“Yeah I just wish I didn’t have this stupid cast holding me back, I just want to walk normally Dean is that too much to ask”

“You’re such a drama queen, look it’s only like 2 more weeks and then you won’t have to wear it anymore”

“Yeah your right I can manage two more weeks plus tonight is gonna be great”

“Speaking off we have to leave, Gabriel called and everyone is arriving at Michael’s so let’s go” Dean ushered Castiel out of the apartment and down to the impala. Castiel directed Dean to Michaels house and it didn’t take them long to get there. Dean pulled the car up to the house and let Castiel out as he drove further down to park the car “I’ll be back in a minute” Castiel waved Dean off and walked up to the house. He was still having a little trouble with the cast but he’d mostly gotten used to it now. Cas pushed the front door open and headed inside to see the party in full swing.

“Cassie glad you could finally make it to your own party”

“I thought you off all people would be glad that I arrived fashionably late”

“Your right I am, I’m so proud like a mother wolf proud of her cub’s first kill or…” Castiel stared at Gabriel as he started comparing him to more animals and their cubs first kill

“Castiel!” Cas turned tried to see who was shouting his name but he couldn’t see anyone until he felt a body barrel in to the back of him. He saw a flash of red hair and tried to turn to get his arms around his cousin.

“Anna I thought you were in New York”

“Yeah I was like a month ago. I moved back but I wanted to keep it a surprise till your birthday” Castiel laughed as he pulled her in to an even tighter hug “So Gabe tells me that you’re coming here with a date?” Castiel smiled at Anna but gave no details about Dean “Cas I know you don’t trust me after the whole thing with Balthazar but I promise I didn’t know it was him, you know we’d never really met and he told me his name was Chris and I was too wasted to realise he was taking me to your apartment” Castiel smiled down at Anna he knew it wasn’t really her fault he just felt betrayed but he knew he would have to move on.

“Dean his name’s Dean and this is kind of our first date”

“Did someone call my name?” Dean smiled as he moved his arm around Castiel’s waist – purely to help him keep balance. Castiel smiled up at him and then released Anna from his hold, she straightened up and turned her eyes on Dean. Anna smirked over at Dean before sticking her hand out to him “Anna, nice to meet you”

Dean quickly grabbed her hand and shook it “Dean, and you” HOLY SHIT…shit…shit…shit…I told you it was a bad idea to have a one night stand…Oh I’m dead…I slept with Cas’s friend…She’s pretending to not know you…wow maybe you were really bad…now is really not the time to think about my power in bed…power, really Dean I think based off her ignoring you shows that it was shit…Can you please stop!...You know while you’re having this whole internal freak out they are continuing on the conversation…what “So yeah Anna moved back from New York about a month ago and it’s great to have my cousin…” Did he say cousin!?...Oh my fucking god I am going to be destroyed…Shit didn’t Balthazar sleep with one of his cousins…Oooh what if it was her…and then you slept with her too…wow this could not get any worse for you could it?...She is such a slut…I think you mean your such a slut

Dean smiled at Anna and Castiel before making an excuse about getting a drink and running off to the kitchen. He found his younger brother going through the fridge.

“Adam?” Adam turned and smiled at Dean before drinking the beer he had found in the fridge.

“Hey Dean, Sam invited me I think he wanted me to meet Gabriel, by the way have you met him because he kinda scares me I mean I know he’s like tiny but he’s just so loud and like there all the time”

“Yeah don’t worry he kinda scares me a little too”

“The great Dean Winchester is scared of tiny Gabriel Novak”

“Hey Adam how old are you again?”

“19 why?” Dean smirked as he quickly grabbed the beer from Adams hand and switched it for a non-alcoholic beer “You suck Dean”

“Yeah that comes from liking men”

“Oh…ew…really?” Dean cackled as he walked away from his little brother “Don’t think I haven’t seen you checking out the guys on your campus Adam” Dean threw Adam a smirk over his shoulder before leaving the kitchen. Dean spotted Cas in deep conversation with Anna and realised that he should never have left them alone because she could tell him and ruin everything. Dean was about to make his way over when a body stopped him. He found himself looking at a tall, blonde man. The man reached out his hand “Hey I’m Lucifer, or Luke, Castiel’s cousin” Dean found himself returning the handshake and smiling at the man “Dean, Cas’s date” They idly chatted for a few minutes while Dean kept one eye on Cas and Anna. Jo came bounding over and smiled brightly at him he had forgotten that he’d even invited her. Dean noticed Anna moving away from Cas and decided to go talk to her. He quickly introduced Jo to Cas’s cousin and then left.

Castiel smiled as Charlie walked over to him. Charlie was one of his closest friends at the school they had a lot of the same students so had a lot to talk about. Well a lot of students to talk about, maybe it was inappropriate to talk about them but the students often forgot that the teachers could hear everything and the gossip was just brilliant. At the smile she was giving him he knew she had some information about a ship of theirs. Sometimes the teachers would ship students together, it made it more fun to be a teacher.

“What do you know Miss Bradbury?”

“Well Mr Novak you know the popular boy Derek and the nerdy boy Stiles”

“They didn’t!”

“They did! Apparently Stiles has been tutoring Derek in History which I thought was rather amusing since Derek ace’s that class but Stiles only found this out the other day and then Derek told him the truth…reluctantly I might add but told him and Stiles just kissed him”

“Why do you know that?”

“They may have been discussing it on the stage in the drama room and I may have been walking by” Castiel laughed as he pulled Charlie in to a hug, happy that the boys finally got their heads out of their asses.

“That’s not all though Clint finally managed to figure out how to get Natasha to notice him”

“Really but he’s been trying for months I thought he’d never get it, how’d it happen?”

“Apparently one of the jocks stole Clint’s bow and snapped it and Natasha came to help like always but this time instead of him trying to impress her he just smiled at her and she kicked the jocks ass, honestly I wanted to let him have it but I had to break it up, waited till he was on the floor apologizing first though”

“Of course you did…”

“Then she asked Clint out and he said yes…very cute”

“I can’t believe I’ve missed so much but good for Sterek and Clintasha”

“Are you guys shipping students again?” Charlie and Castiel looked sheepishly at Harry and Lois as they smirked at them. Harry worked in the English department of the school and Lois worked in Art. The four often spent lunch together and talked about everything from shipping to unresolved sexual tension between teachers. They had a small pool going on the Chemistry and the Biology teacher. They were constantly pulling pranks on each other and essentially boiled down to pulling each other’s pig tails.

“So Castiel we hear that you came here with a princess?”

“Princess?”

“Yeah we heard he’s got big princess eyes”

“Well he does have very pretty eyes, and big muscular arms” Castiel laughed as he described Dean to his friends and smiled as he saw Lauren come in to the house. “Lauren over here” Lauren smiled and dragged someone over to the small group.

“Hey Cas, this is my husband Jensen” Castiel smiled and shook Jensen’s hand

“Well everyone this is my absolute fantastic nurse and Lauren this is Harry, Lois and I think I mentioned Charlie once or twice” Everyone smiled at each other and made small talk between themselves.

“So Cas where is this man of yours?” Lois smiled

“Oh are you guys talking about Dean? I knew you’d get him Cas” Lauren laughed as a blush covered Castiel’s cheeks

“I actually haven’t seen him you know what I should probably go and find him before he gets himself in trouble” Castiel was just about to say goodbye when Michael came over to the group.

“Hey Cas” Cas smiled but he wasn’t really paying attention to his cousin as he looked around the room for Dean

“Hello there, I’m Harry, who exactly are you?” Michael stared wide eyed as Harry looked him up and down. Lois smacked Harry on the arm before shooing him in to the kitchen. Lauren and Jensen followed them to get a drink. Michael cleared his throat to gain Castiel’s attention and he whipped his head around suddenly realising it was just the three of them. Castiel quickly introduced Michael and Charlie and then took off to find Dean.

“Look Dean it’s not a big deal just tell me what I want to hear”

“Anna what happened with us was a huge mistake”

“That’s not what I want to hear”

“Look Cas has been hurt before okay and I want to be the one to make him happy not add more pain”

“You think I don’t know he’s been hurt before, did he tell you all about his cousin sleeping with his boyfriend”

“That was you?”

“Of course it was Dean! Do you know how hard it is to be in my family? Michael is perfect, Castiel went to university and accomplished stupid shit that no one really cares about but his parents, but you know what happens to me ‘Poor little Anna doesn’t measure up to her brother or her cousin’ So I may not be able to get to Michaels life but Castiel’s I can ruin”

“You need to be in a clinic for the mentally deranged”

“Been there done that Dean”

“Oh wow your missing about a couple hundred screws aren’t ya sweetheart” Anna moved closer to Dean and he backed up till he hit the wall. She reached up to stroke her hand through his hair and he flinched away from her. She wrapped her hand around his shirt and pulled him forward till she could reach up to put her lips on his. She knew Dean wouldn’t react he just stood still, frozen while she kissed him, idiot probably didn’t want to hurt her in this fragile state. What a moron. She kissed him till she heard the gasp behind her then pushed away from him and slapped him across the cheek. It didn’t really matter who had walked in just as long as someone had seen. She turned to face whoever it was and had to force down her delight at Castiel’s face.

“Cas I am so sorry me and Dean we’ve slept together before and I guess he just couldn’t stop himself, he followed me in here” which was the truth but obviously not to do what Castiel is thinking about “he wouldn’t let me leave till I kissed him. He said he just wanted one last kiss then he would leave me alone”

“Get the fuck out Anna” Anna rushed past Castiel and forced some tears out as she gave him one last look. She slowed to a walk as she past him and waved goodbye to Michael as she left the house.

“Dean…” that snapped Dean out of his trance and he looked up at Cas “Why did you follow her in here?”

“I needed to talk to her…Cas it’s not what you think I promise”

“Talk to her about what…” Castiel stared at Dean and knew he was trying to think of something else to tell him “the truth Dean”

“About a one night stand we had together”

“Why bring it up now? You said you hadn’t had one in years”

“I lied it happened about three weeks ago”

“After you met me…”

“I found out you had a boyfriend and I guess I just wanted to get over you”

“So why not tell me about it?”

“I don’t…I didn’t…I just…I’m sorry Cas but I never kissed her, she kissed me”

“Yeah it sure looked like you were fighting her off”

“I didn’t want to hurt her after being in the clinic for mental patients”

“Really you’re gonna pretend that my cousin was in a clinic! Anna’s never been in a clinic Dean, there’s nothing wrong with her”

“Look I know she slept with Balthazar but obviously she’s the common thing here she set this up”

“So what you think Anna tricked Balthazar in to being an asshole? Made sure it was her he fucked? And then made sure that you would go out looking for a one night stand and find her? And then meet you again at a party that I wasn’t even sure was gonna happen till like a week ago and then kiss you at it? That’s what Anna did, she set it all up”

“I know it seems farfetched Cas but please believe me I wouldn’t do this to you, I didn’t want to kiss Anna and I wish I could take back sleeping with her”

“You know what Dean I really don’t want to do this right now, so I’m gonna go home and I’ll call you”

“When?”

“I don’t fucking know!” Castiel headed back through the kitchen and tried to ignore the way everyone watched him as they tried to pretend they hadn’t just listened in to the conversation. Gabriel came up beside Cas and smiled as he helped him out of the house. Sam headed in to the garage to see Dean.

It had been nearly half an hour since Castiel had left the party, Sam had spent that time trying to calm Dean down and stop him from running off and doing something stupid. Adam had been sitting with Dean while Sam helped clean up Michaels house when Jo came over to talk to him.

“Sam is there a reason that Adam has been stood outside the bathroom for 10 minutes?”

“Downstairs bathroom?”

“Yep”

“Is there a window in there?”

“Nope”

“Oh thank god”

“But…”

“What?”

“There is another door that leads in to the hallway which leads to you know the back door”

“And lemme guess…you saw Dean leaving through said door”

“No I saw him go in and puppy over there hasn’t moved in ten minutes”

“Can you help here I need to call Gabriel” Jo smiled reassuringly and gave him a pat on the shoulder as she moved to help Luke with the living-room. She really needed to talk to Dean about the whole blind date thing because Luke was really not her type at all.

 _‘Gabriel listen Dean’s kind of escaped so just watch out for him when you get this okay’_ Sam sighed and sent up a silent prayer that Dean didn’t do anything stupid.

Dean pulled up outside Castiel’s building and jumped out. He ran up to the building and pressed every buzzer in the hopes that someone would let him in. He waited five minutes before moving to the front of the building he could see the lights on in Castiel’s apartment. He grabbed some stones off of the parking lot floor and tried aiming them at the window…he kept missing…dammit this always worked in the movies. He looked around and then dropped the stones he took in a deep breath preparing to shout Castiel’s name when something smacked him in the back and he was sent to the floor. He coughed as he tried to get his breath back. A figure came in to view and Dean could see he was holding a crowbar in his left hand. He smiled at Dean before bringing the crowbar down on his back for the second time. Dean forced himself to not scream in pain and tried to push himself up. The figure knelt down beside him.

“Did you miss me Dean? I know Castiel has. You know I really don’t like people taking what’s mine”

“Bal…Baltha…Balthazar” Dean tried to say more but he couldn’t seem to right his breathing

“Got it in one” Balthazar pulled at Dean’s hair till he was looking him in the eye “Listen to me very closely he is mine not yours. You never go near him again or I will kill you Dean” Balthazar smiled and then pushed himself up releasing his hold on Dean. Dean was on his hands and knee’s when Balthazar spoke to him again “I know you hurt him Dean…but let me be clear when I say only I can hurt him” The scream was ripped from Dean’s throat as Balthazar brought the crowbar down on Dean’s hand. Dean crumpled to the floor as he clutched his hand to his chest. Balthazar threw the crowbar to the floor beside him and walked away from the scene.


	10. Radio Silence

Dean had been in hospital for a week and a half. His hand was broken and he had a couple of cracked ribs but other than that he was fine. Well mostly fine, due to the hits to his chest he’d passed out due to the pain and the difficulty breathing. No one had found him till the morning and by that time the rain from the night had soaked his clothes Dean’s breathing was shallow and his heart rate weak. He’d been asleep for two days and had had to be checked for any spinal injuries. When he came to they determined that he was fine and there should be no lasting injuries from the attack. The police had been as well and they took his statement and talked to him about catching Balthazar. However even Balthazar had not prepared him for who stood in the doorway currently. Hip cocked, arms folded and one eyebrow raised; with a face that just said ‘You’re going to tell me everything and you’re going to do it now’ Dean gave a sheepish smile as Mary dropped in to the chair beside his bed.

“Dean about three weeks ago you said and I quote ‘Mom stop worrying about things here, have fun visiting Grandpa and Grandma, what’s the worst that could happen here’ So you want to tell me why I gotta call about your dumb arse being in hospital?”

“Mom I can totally explain but first why has it taken you a week and a half to visit your son in hospital?”

“Well Dean first I had to find a flight here but then three days after Sammy called me to tell me you were fine and for me to come home as normal. And after having you as a child there has been plenty of hospital visits”

“Mom I’m really sorry I never meant for this to happen”

“Dean I love you I know that you would never mean for something like this to happen but I also know that from what Sam has told me you got involved when someone needed help and I would never ask you to go against your gut”

“Mom it’s just because I’m a paramedic you know, it’s my job to help people that’s it”

“You always sell yourself short Dean, but you’ve been taking care of me and Sam ever since your Dad died, maybe even before then. You are good through and through Dean Winchester so don’t you tell me it’s just your job because it wasn’t your job back in high school to get the neighbour’s cat out of the tree but you did it every damn day!” Dean cracked a small smile at Mary as he remembered climbing the large oak every day to get Mrs Rogers cat out of the tree, even after he fell and broke his wrist. Mary smiled up at him and moved her hand over his, she gave him a light squeeze and Dean took a deep breath before telling her everything.

Castiel hadn’t seen Dean since his birthday party and that had been two weeks ago. Dean hadn’t called, texted or come to see him. Or atleast not directly he knew that Sam didn’t care about his health enough to ask 10 times a day. He’d finally been able to get his cast off and Sam had been hanging around more and more. He knew it was for Gabriel but he also knew that Sam always checked his phone before sighing looking up and asking Castiel how his leg was. Cas would always smile politely and tell him he was fine.

The sad part of it all though was that Castiel did miss Dean. He missed the easy flirting and how easy it was to really rile Dean up about the little things but mostly he missed how safe he felt, he hadn’t really felt like that in a long time but with Dean around it was almost like no one could hurt him ever again. Castiel sighed as he dropped on to the couch, he couldn’t really be mad at Dean, it wasn’t really his fault. He’d gone for a one night stand and Castiel had been in a relationship he couldn’t really ask Dean to not date anyone in case he and Balthazar broke up. And Anna did like to mess with him a lot. He needed to get out of his own head! He prayed to anyone up there for a distraction…anything…something…’knock’…yeah like a knock at the door…’knock knock’…there’s someone actually at the door. Castiel pulled himself up and walked over to the door, he opened it to reveal a very beautiful but angry looking woman.

“Castiel ‘Bluest eyes to ever Blue’ Novak?”

“Erm…are you going to kill me?”

“You hurt my baby so I’m thinking about it but I doubt he’d be too happy if I maimed you”

“I’m sorry?”

“You will be now follow me” She turned on her heel and started moving down the hall towards the stairs, god knows why Castiel followed but he grabbed his keys shoved on some shoes and chased after her. He caught up to her and they walked side by side neither of them said anything, just walked until she stopped at a cemetery. Castiel stared at her but she just gave him a small smile and it was the first time he really looked at anything but her murderous glare but she was carrying a small basket. She took off again and he followed after her. They walked ten more minutes before she stopped and pulled out a blanket before arranging it on the floor.

“Castiel Novak, my names Mary Winchester and this is my husband John Winchester” Mary gestured to the headstone before pulling some food from the basket. She waved him down and he crossed his legs as he sat down.

“It’s good to meet the both of you”

“Cas honey I need to tell you some stuff and I don’t want you to say anything till the end okay?”

“Okay”

“Dean is one of the most important people in my life, heck there’s only two important people really and that’s my boys. Dean has told me everything that happened and I understand you feeling angry I do but you need to handle this better, because he’s been at hospital for a week and a half and according to the nurses and Jo he’s been miserable. Now I’m gonna guess you didn’t know by the look on your face but he’s gonna be fine, he got attacked by your ex-boyfriend and you know something he told me he’d take that beating again if it meant you were okay. That’s something I really need you to understand because Dean doesn’t let a lot of people in but he likes you and I can see by how itching you are to run from here that you like him as well, so I am going to tell you what I told him. Life can throw you a hell of a lot of curve balls and sometimes you fall in love and it gets taken away from you” she ran her hand over the top of Johns grave and Castiel looked away as a tear rolled down her cheek “…but I will never regret falling in love. Even if I knew that I would only get a few years with him and that would be it I would never change that, because despite all the pain it was worth having him in my life and he gave me two beautiful, brave, smart sons that deserve the best. And I think you might just be the best for my boy”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because since the crash Dean doesn’t get close to anyone, he’s too afraid of losing someone he loves but you survived your car accident and I think he sees you as a sign or something” Castiel smiled at Mary as she halved the food between them. She told him stories about her family. The summers they spent in the back garden with the inflatable pool and having BBQ’s. She told him about the first BBQ and how john had spent hours trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing on only to find he’d forgotten to connect the gas bottle. The time Sam had fallen down the porch stairs and even though he was fine Dean was his doctor and Sam never complained just let Dean take care of him. She even told Castiel that she would love to start up that tradition again because she misses back garden BBQ’s. They talked well after all the food was gone and Castiel thanked John Winchester for a lovely day before he and Mary left. Once again they fell in to silence as they walked side by side to Castiel’s apartment. He invited her up for a cup of coffee and she smiled and accepted the offer while demanding to hear stories of his family.

They stepped in to the apartment and Castiel flipped the light in the living-room. He let Mary know that she was welcome to treat it like home before he went in to the kitchen. He shouted through about milk and sugar and got a quick reply no milk, no sugar, extra hot. Castiel carried the drinks to the living-room but Mary wasn’t there he decided she’d probably just gone in to the dining-room.

“So where to start…” Castiel’s smile dropped along with his cup as he took the scene in. Gabriel was unconscious and tied to a chair, Sam was beside him tied up but awake, and Mary was at the head of the table with a gun to her head. Balthazar pressed it harder in to her temple and smirked at Castiel.

“You didn’t really think you were free did you?”


	11. Call me crazy

“You should really take a seat darling” Balthazar smiled at Castiel as he pushed the gun a little harder in to Mary’s temple. She tried to move away but he kept a hand on her neck and pressed two fingers just to the base of her throat. Castiel moved in to the seat at the head of his dining table, he caught Mary’s eye “I am so sorry” Mary whimpered as Balthazar put more pressure on her throat. Balthazar released the pressure as a tear slid down Mary’s cheek. Balthazar moved around the table and stopped at Sam’s side.

“You know I have to say it was surprisingly easy for me to get everyone here. I mean first Gabriel was home alone and look at him out cold with a simple hit to the head” Balthazar smiled at Sam and then gripped his hair and pulled his head back “And then Sam you were a little harder but still so simple a little text from your boyfriend and you just came running” Balthazar kept his eyes locked with Castiel’s before Balthazar shot Sam in his thigh, Castiel jumped at the sound and made to stand as Sam screamed behind the tape. Balthazar laughed as he moved the gun to Sam’s other leg “Sit down Castiel. Now Sam you didn’t think I would forget about what you did to me. Stopping me from taking what was mine. What was that Sam…oh you’re right we should get the main problem here” Balthazar made his way around the table till he was by Castiel’s side “You’re gonna call Dean and tell him you want to talk right now, otherwise first I’m going to shoot Mary so she just bleeds out, then I’m gonna kill Gabriel and then Sam and then once you’ve watched the life drain from all of them I am going to make your death slow. Doesn’t that sound fun Castiel?”

Castiel slowly reached in to his pocket not wanting to risk any sudden movements and pulled out his phone. He kept his phone visible for Balthazar and then located Dean’s number and hit call.

_‘Castiel?’_

_‘Hey Dean, listen I wanted to talk to you in person if that would be possible’_

_‘Castiel you okay? You haven’t spoken to me in a while’_

_‘I know, I just needed time to think and well Sam really helped sway my decision’_

_‘I’m kinda at work right now, can I maybe come by later’_

_‘I’d really prefer if you came over now it’s really important’_

_‘Just hang on a sec…’Castiel listened as Dean shuffled about at the end of the line ‘Cas you still there?’_

_‘Yeah Dean I’m here’_

_‘Okay Jo can cover me so I’ll head straight over to your flat’_

_‘Okay, see you when you’re here’_

Balthazar took the phone from Castiel before forcing him in to a kiss “Good boy Cassie. Maybe someone will get out of this alive”

“Dean. Are. You. Okay.”

“What?”

“Oh my god I was in the middle of talking to you when you answered your phone. Remember?”

“Oh right about the blind date?”

“Didn’t you just tell Cas you’d be right over?”

“I think there’s something wrong”

“Why? Did he say something?”

“No he just sounded off and he said that Sam swayed his decision”

“Well Sam was probably sick of you moping”

“No, Jo, listen to me okay Sam would not have gotten involved he knows eventually I would get my head outta my ass, as he so helpfully puts it”

“That sure does sound like Sam and he’s not wrong eventually your head does come outta your ass sometimes”

“Look I’m just gonna head over there and see if he’s okay and you can tell me all about how great I am later”

“Why would I tell you that?”

“Because I set you up with ‘god’s gift to earth’”

“No you set me up with the devil”

“But he’s always so nice and perfect”

“Perfect? Dean the guy’s name should have been an indicator and he was so arrogant like I wasn’t good enough to be in his personal space”

“I don’t really see what Michael’s name has to do with this but I guess if you really didn’t like him”

“Thank you. Now go and get down and dirty with Castiel”

“Thanks Jo” Dean smiled at Jo before grabbing his coat and jogging down the halls of the hospital. Jo started eating her sandwich again before something occurred to her “Wait…why did he say Michael?”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, you could hear the phone call”

“He better be here Castiel. He has to learn who you belong to”

“Balthazar please just let everyone go and I’ll leave with you. I won’t look back, just me and you”

“Please don’t treat me like I’m an idiot Castiel, you’d kill me in my sleep the first chance you got”

“I’d kill you right now if I could asshole” Balthazar spun around to smirk at Gabriel.

“Well look who’s finally awake; enjoy your much needed beauty sleep”

“Yes I did thanks, you know those long nights of great sex really take it out of me, but you know I don’t think that would help you because you’d only look better with a few bullet holes in your chest” Balthazar smiled at Gabriel as he left the room. He quickly came back with a new gleam in his eye. He smirked at Gabriel before going over to stand behind him. He tucked the gun in to the back of his jeans and ran his hands down the collar of Gabriel’s shirt. He gripped the shirt and ripped it open to reveal Gabriel’s chest, he moved one hand behind his back and pulled out a knife from his back pocket.

“This Castiel is a hunter’s knife, I brought it with me just in case I would need it. And it really looks like I do” Balthazar ran the edge of the across Gabriel’s collar bone before putting on enough pressure to pierce the skin and draw blood. Gabriel winced at the pain but Balthazar only laughed as he watched Castiel flinch and Sam scream himself hoarse through the tape.

“You know Gabe; maybe we should give you something a little more permanent. I mean what better way to remember me than having me mark your skin. Although if Dean doesn’t get here soon then you won’t have to remember me for much longer” Balthazar moved around the table again and this time he grabbed a role of duct tape from a set of drawers and handed it to Mary “Make sure he’s secured to that Chair” Balthazar watched as Mary wrapped the duct tape around Castiel’s wrists and the arms to the chair. She waited till Balthazar checked the tape before she moved back to her chair. Balthazar set his knife down in the middle of the table before securing Mary to her chair. Once he knew everyone was tied down he picked his knife back up and went back to Gabriel. Balthazar moved one leg over Gabe’s lap and straddled him as he ran the knife over his chest.

“Well let’s get to work shall we…”

Balthazar hummed as he worked, it helped him to concentrate on the writing, but it also helped him block out Sam’s constant struggling or the endless pitiful screams from Gabriel. Castiel was begging him to stop and Mary was just crying. Honestly Balthazar had expected at least one of the neighbours to call the police but I guess when you live in a bad area they don’t really make it a priority. Balthazar finished the final line on Gabriel’s chest and leaned back to admire his work.

“Isn’t it magnificent, who knew I could do almost calligraphy with a knife? And now you can spend whatever’s left of your life associating me with Sam” Balthazar watched as blood trickled from Sam’s name and he couldn’t help himself as he ran a finger through the blood. He cupped Gabriel’s cheek smearing the blood along his jaw and lifted his head, Gabriel was pale and his hair was sticking to his forehead due to sweat.

“I hope someone stabs you in the back”

“I’m the one that does the stabbing Gabriel have you not figured that out yet?” Balthazar was about to give Gabriel another lesson when a knock at the door stopped him. He ducked his head then turned to Castiel “Oh look the entertainment’s here” Balthazar quickly pulled his knife from his belt and headed for the door. He checked the peephole to see Dean on the other side. He quickly pulled the door open and aimed the gun at Dean. Dean froze on the spot and stared at Balthazar.

“Well come in and join the party Dean” Balthazar backed up as Dean made his way in to the room, he used the gun to motion Dean to follow him. Balthazar backed up in to the dining-room and waited for Dean to come in. Dean’s face went from passive to pure anger in seconds when he noticed his brother and his mom.

“You son of a bitch I am going to kill you”

“Are you though?” Balthazar quickly aimed his gun and fired off one shot. Dean swayed backwards as the pain from his wound started to hit him. The blood was coming quickly from the wound on his left pectoral. The room seemed to go from shocked silence to frantic screaming in seconds and Balthazar rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it all.

“He’ll be fine, it was a through and through, I can actually shoot you know” Balthazar walked over to Dean and aimed the gun over his body before he quickly pushed down on the bullet wound with his boot. Dean gritted his teeth to prevent himself from screaming but the pain was almost unbearable.

“Balthazar stop please I’ll do anything for you! Just please don’t hurt him!”

“Oh Castiel I have just been waiting to hear you say that!” Balthazar grinned at Castiel before moving over to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, his mouth was now next to his ear “Okay so for the final bit of entertainment tonight, there is only one thing I want you to do for me, I want you to tell me which person you want to live?”

“I can’t…”

“Decide”


	12. Decisions Decisions

Castiel gave a small smile to the paramedic as they handed him a blanket. He took a deep breath as he watched everyone from his seat on the ambulance. The police were questioning the neighbours, the forensic team were going through his apartment and the paramedics were currently wheeling out the bodies.

_4 hours earlier…_

_“Decide”_

_“I’m not going to pick one person to live”_

_“Then everyone dies”_

_“No! No-one has to die”_

_“Oh but they really do. In fact why don’t we play a round of twister! You have a board in your room don’t you?”_

_“It’s in the top of my closet”_

_“Great. Dean, get up and come with me” Balthazar kept his gun trained on Dean as he pushed himself of the floor. Balthazar pushed Dean out of the room and Castiel turned to look at everyone._

_“I am so sorry to have brought you…” Castiel’s words were cut off as a gunshot resounded through the apartment. Mary started screaming as she saw Balthazar come back in to the room with the twister board, Sam struggled more and more but Balthazar paid him no attention._

_“What did you do?” Balthazar rushed Castiel and shoved the gun under his chin._

_“I fucking protected myself! He attacked me Castiel”_

_“I am going to fucking kill you!”_

_“I did you a favour Castiel now you don’t have to worry about who gets picked” Balthazar pushed back from Castiel and moved back over to the twister board. He spun the needle and bounced a little as the needle passed each person on the table. The needle slowed and finally stopped, Balthazar smiled over at Mary and moved over to her._

_“Any last words?”_

_Mary looked up at Castiel and gave him a small smile “This is not your fault and Sam you be strong baby” Balthazar put the gun to Mary’s temple and winked at Cas before pulling the trigger. Sam tried to struggle but the bullet wound in his leg was making him weaker. He turned his head away as Mary’s body slumped forward._

_“Well that’s two down and three to go”_

_“What?”_

_“Oh Cassie you didn’t think that I was going to kill you, this games all in darling”_

_“Even you?”_

_“Of course but the house always wins. So let’s spin again, shall we?” Balthazar was about to spin the needle again when his phone buzzed against his leg. He sighed before reaching in to his pocket and reading his text._

_“Well look at that looks like we have another player” Balthazar put his gun on the table and then left the room. Sam, Cas and Gabe could hear chatter coming from the hallway. Castiel could swear that he knew the voice but he was having some difficulty placing it. Gabriel’s eyes went wide and Castiel was about to turn when someone placed a kiss to his cheek._

_“Hey Cas”_

_“Anna?”_

_“How you didn’t guess it was me I will never know”_

_“I obviously gave you too much credit”_

_“Credit for what?”_

_“Being a part of this family”_

_“Oh baby I haven’t been a part of this family since you were born, first it was Michael then it was you and the only hope I really had was that Gabe here would fail but then he went a bagged little Sammy and now my parents want to know where my good looking boyfriend is”_

_“Don’t you think it’s a little pathetic to want to ruin my life because Gabe has a better boyfriend than you, or Michael is more successful than you, or even that you were just a cheap fuck to Dean”_

_“I’d watch your mouth Castiel or you will end up just like your little boyfriend”_

_“Well this is always fun to watch Anna but can we please get on with it” Balthazar picked up his gun and waved it a little as he spoke. Anna turned to Balthazar and smiled as she walked over to him. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pushed herself on her toes to whisper in his ear._

_“Of course we can” Anna quickly pulled out a long silver blade and pushed it up in to Balthazar’s stomach “I told you not to kill Dean” She pulled the blade out and plunged it back in 3 times before she let his body drop to the floor “I don’t really need you, but you were fun while you lasted”_

_“You really need to be admitted Anna”_

_“You sound just like my last boyfriend”_

_“I don’t understand, how the hell did you do all this?”_

_“Believe it or not Cassie but pure luck. Balthazar was your boyfriend so yes that one was on purpose, but then I slept with Dean before I knew he was your other boyfriend, then about 2 or 3 weeks after sleeping with him I saw Balthazar in a bar. He told me that Dean Winchester had taken you from him and he would do anything to get you back, so after feeding him some bullshit about Dean being my boyfriend he just wanted to protect you Cassie. Convincing him to do all this wasn’t actually that hard, I just wasn’t expecting him to kill Dean or Mary.”_

_“You’re a fucking psycho Anna”_

_“Now Gabriel darling is there really any need for name calling? Never mind. Here’s what’s gonna happen I’m going to kill you all, and then pretend that I just got here too late and I had to stab Balthazar with his own knife when he came at me”_

_“No-one would believe that!”_

_“Oh really? Let’s find out” Anna pulled her phone from her back pocket and put it to her ear as the phone rang._

“Hello”

“Michael! Oh my god Michael”

“Anna? What’s going on?”

“Oh god…please…I didn’t mean to Michael…I’m sorry…”

“Anna! Tell me what’s happened?”

“I just came to Castiel’s to apologise and…I think…oh god there dead Michael”

“What...Anna…tell me who’s dead”

“Castiel, Gabriel, Sam and Dean…oh god even their mother…I had to kill him Michael”

“Anna did you hurt them?”

“What…no…not me…it was Balthazar he was here when I came over and he tried to kill me and I had to…I had to”

“Okay Anna I’m coming over now! I’m on my way” Anna smirks over at the others as the line goes dead.

_“Well isn’t this exciting”_

_“They’ll figure it out Anna, you can’t kill 4 people and get away with it”_

_“Oh but I can because Balthazar killed Dean and Mary, so why would they suspect anyone else to be in on it, I’m just an innocent victim in all of this”_

_“They’re gonna see that your crazy”_

_“Maybe. But they can write that off as the trauma from seeing my cousins and my lover dead”_

_“Anna…”_

_“Shut up! God Castiel, I don’t want to hear you talk! I am so sick of listening to you all the time. You know I was gonna kill you last but I can’t listen to you talk anymore, so Gabriel or Sam can die last! Well done Cas now the last thing they see is each other die, Gabriel how would you feel about seeing your brother then Sam die!” Anna walked over to Castiel and laid her hands on his shoulders. She smoothed out his wrinkled shirt and pulled her knife from pocket. She put the blade to his neck and dug it in till a small amount of blood rolled down Castiel’s neck. Anna was about to sweep the knife across Castiel’s neck but she crumpled to the floor as something went in to her back. Dean fell forward slightly as he panted._

_“Dean?”_

_“Hey Cas” Dean unwrapped the tape from Castiel’s wrist and leaned against the table as he tried to steady himself. Castiel released himself and moved Dean to the chair before going over to Gabriel and Sam. He untied Gabriel, and went back to Dean as Gabriel pushed him away from Sam. Anna was laid on the floor with a small knife sticking in her back._

_“What is that?”_

_“It’s a scalpel, I had my bag with me and I needed something sharp”_

_“What did you do to her?”_

_“Severed her spinal cord, I’m a paramedic remember” Dean coughed as he tried to keep talking. His shoulder was still bleeding pretty bad and he was bleeding from the back of his head._

_“I thought you were dead”_

_“I fought with Balthazar but he pushed me and I hit my head on the side of the drawers, I’m surprised he didn’t kill me while I was out”_

_“Dean…your mom…”_

_“Yeah Cas I know but I’ll think about that later, right now we need to get out of here” Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel as they heard the front door slam open._

_“Anna?!”_

_“In here Michael” A red faced Michael came running in to the dining-room and looked horrified as he took everything in._

_“What happened…”_

Present

“And that’s everything?”

Castiel stared up at the police officer before nodding his head “Okay well if we need anything else we’ll be in touch”

“Thank you”

Castiel closed his eyes as he tried to take in the night, Sam and Gabriel had both been rushed to the hospital for blood loss. Sam’s name was likely to be permanently etched in to Gabriel’s skin and Sam would no doubt have a scar from his bullet wound but there both alive, so that has to count for something. Anna hadn’t been so lucky, it hadn’t taken long for her to bleed out, apparently Dean’s aim had been a little off due to the blood loss, and Castiel doesn’t know whether to believe that or not. Balthazar and Mary had both been taken away from the scene in body bags, Castiel wonders if Mary has reunited with John.

“You look like you’re thinking too much”

“Dean you have to go to hospital”

“I will, as soon as you get in this damn ambulance with me” Castiel picked himself up off the step of the ambulance and sat on the bench near the stretcher. He made an exaggerated wave to Dean to get in and he closed his eyes as he put his head on the wall of the ambulance. A lot happened tonight that Castiel didn’t want to ever think about again but he knew he would every time he walked in to his apartment or saw the scar on Gabriel, but for now all he thought about was the heat from Dean’s hand on his thigh. 


	13. The aftermath

It had been three weeks. A lot could happen in three weeks. Dean had been admitted to the hospital for his bullet wound and a concussion; they said he’d been really lucky. The bullet had missed everything important, now Dean had his shoulder strapped up and he was wearing a dark blue shirt, black jacket and a pair of black trousers. Sam and Gabriel were both recovering, they both decided to take the advice of their doctor’s and get medical help. Gabriel still woke up crying as though he could feel Balthazar marking his skin all over again. He found it difficult to let Sam in on those days. Now they were both stood here as well, Sam beside Dean and Gabriel beside Cas. Cas had been admitted but released shortly after, he hadn’t visited Dean much while he was in hospital but that was only because he’d been meeting with a realtor to have his apartment. He hadn’t been inside, he never wanted to step inside again, there was Balthazar’s blood stained in to the carpet in the hallway, Dean’s blood soaked in to the hardwood floors and Mary’s blood decorated his walls. He looked up as Dean was called to the podium. Cas looked around at the people in the chairs, so many people had come today, friends, family and some who had just been intrigued by the woman who was murdered by a maniac. Dean and Sam had insisted that her family stood around her grave, so here they were, her two sons, Castiel and Gabriel. Cas gave Dean a small smile as they made eye contact. Dean cleared his throat and then straightened out the paper he was holding.

“First I just want to say thank you to everyone that came today, it’s much appreciated to me and my brother. For those of you that really knew my mom, you already know just how amazing she was, she was kind to her friends, she was always there to help everyone, and she could make a mean pie. She was the best mom to me and Sammy, she accepted us completely when we told her we were gay, and you know we were so scared to tell her because some people told us it was wrong, and I remember that we agreed to tell her together, and I’m big enough to admit this, Sammy cried the whole time, but when we finally got it out and told her she slapped us over the back of the head and said she’d known about me since she’d seen me kissing my teammate Jimmy in the 9th grade and with Sammy, well he always told her how awesome and funny and smart his English teacher was. And it wasn’t just that, it was hard for us after my dad died, but she took on three jobs to help us both with school and college, and she did everything she could for us and I don’t know if she ever knew how grateful we were but I hope she did because I wouldn’t be here right now without her.   
           I haven’t really said this out loud yet, maybe because it makes it more real, but I am gonna miss her so much. In the hospital I waited every day for her to come through the door, and I think it killed me a little when she didn’t. But the truth is I don’t think she was ever really happy here, not after my dad, whenever she thought we weren’t looking we would see the sadness on her face. I know this will never make up for the life lost, but I hope she’s happier with my dad wherever they are.”

Dean stepped down from the podium and moved back to his space beside Sam. Sam handed Dean a pink rose and together they each dropped one on the casket. Sam laid his hand on the casket and said a quiet goodbye and then moved back to stand beside Dean. They didn’t really hear much after that, a few people came up and said goodbye, the priest finished his sermon and some people just left flowers. Dean jerked a little as someone laid their hand on his shoulder.

“Dean?”

“I’m alright Cas, just thinking.”

“Dean would it be okay if I had a moment alone with Mary”

“Yeah sure, I’ll be by the car.” Dean walked a little behind Sam and Gabriel to give them some space. He looked over his shoulder at Cas and saw him kneeling down beside her headstone.

“Hey Mary, I know we didn’t get to know each other more, because believe me I would have loved to know you better. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for this; this should never have happened to you, you never deserved to die like that. I know I can’t give you your life back but I promise to take care of the lives you created. I know Sam and Gabe are finding it hard right now but I think they’ll be okay, and Dean, well I think I’m a little in love with him. I’m not really sure yet but I think the longer you know him, it kind of becomes impossible not to. So I just wanted to make sure you knew that I will protect them and take care of them anyway I can.” Cas wiped away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks with the back of his sleeve and stood up. He straightened his jacket and then made his way to Dean.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I know I didn’t know her long but I just needed to say goodbye.”

“It’s fine Cas, I get it.” Dean moved round to the driver’s side and gave Cas a small smile before getting in the impala, Cas shook his head a little and then climbed in as well.

“So where we going?”

“The Roadhouse. Ellen and Jo are throwing a little party to sort of celebrate my mom’s life.”

“Well alright then.”

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the bar. The cars were built up outside and the music could be heard from their spot outside.

“Sounds like people are having fun.”

“They should be. All those people in their loved my mom and she’d be pretty pissed if we all moped about over her.”

“Well how about we get in there and find Sam and Gabe.”

“Yeah okay.” They got out the car and Dean waited in front of the car while Cas straightened out his suit. Cas walked to Dean’s side and quirked his eyebrow at Dean as he slipped his hand in to his.

“What? It’s busy in there, don’t want you getting lost now.”

“My beautiful hero.”

“Beautiful?”

“Have you not seen your eyes Dean? There like princess green.”

“Okay so now I’m beautiful and a princess.”

“Yep!”

“So does that make you my prince?”

“Only if you want me to be.” Dean laughed as he pushed open the door to the bar and dragged Castiel in behind him. Cas was instantly hit with the over-whelming smell of whiskey and beer. Dean pulled him through the crowds of people to a booth in the back corner of the bar, where Sam and Gabe were.

“Seems like everyone’s having a good time?”

“I have found out six new things about mom since I got here. People have been sharing stories and reminiscing about her, she had a crazy past man. Did you know she once went hunting with Grampa and she accidently shot some guy in the leg, and instead of apologizing she shouted at him for an hour about the dangers of walking through the forest during hunting season.”

“You know I can actually see that.”

Gabriel shifted forward a little and cleared his throat before he looked over at Sam. “Sam I don’t know if I ever told you this before but I met your mom about four years ago, right after Kali kicked me out for the fifth time, just before I met you actually. I didn’t really have anywhere to go and I’d left my wallet in the flat so I couldn’t even get a damn hotel room. So here I am sat on the side of the street, head in my hands and she just taps me on the shoulder and hands me a cup of coffee. She dropped down beside me and she just sat with me. I think it was about an hour before she said ‘Okay we’ve sat here for an hour, you’ve drank your coffee and now it’s time to get off your arse and do something’ and I just stared at her, this total stranger telling me to go do something.”

“Did you do something?”

“I stood up and I looked out at the street and I just had no idea what to do, and I told her that, I just told her I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I had no idea what job I wanted, my girlfriend was a horror to live with, and she just stood beside me, smiled and told me that she had two beautiful sons, she’d married a wonderful man, and her whole life she’d never known what was gonna come next. Then she handed me this damn muffin and said I bet you didn’t see that coming. I just about laughed till I cried, so much so that I never even saw her slip the money for the hotel in my pocket.”

Sam wiped the tears from his eyes and settled a little closer to Gabe. Dean looked away from them and looked over to Cas he nodded his head towards the bar and they both shuffled out of the booth. It didn’t take long before Sam and Gabe were taking advantage of the privacy.

“Do you think they even noticed us leave?”

“I don’t think it really matters, I know they’ve been struggling that past few weeks and I think they need one night to just be okay.”

“Does that go for us to?”

“Come on, it’s getting a little stuffy in here.” Dean took Cas’s hand and pulled him through the bar and back outside. The cold air hit them both and they pulled their coats tighter. They jogged to the impala and climbed in as soon as Dean unlocked the car. He turned on the engine and quickly fired up the heating.

“I did not think it would be this cold!”

“Well you know sharing body heat is proven to warm you up faster.”

“Really?”

“Trust me Cas I’m a paramedic.”

“Well then…” Cas shrugged his trench coat of his shoulders and pulled his arms out before he slid a little closer to Dean, he pushed his hands up under Dean’s jacket and pushed it down his shoulders.

“You know there’s a little more space in the back.”

“Then let’s get in the back.” Dean tried to climb over the seat but he ended up catching his foot on it and fell head first in to the door handle.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Cas climbed over a little more gracefully and quickly pulled Dean’s head towards him.

“Cas I’m fine, just a little bump on the head.” Dean laughed and pulled Cas’s hand’s from his head and in to his lap. “I’m okay.” Dean settled against the seat and moved Cas until he was straddling him. Dean moved his hands to Castiel’s waist and around to the small of his back, Dean’s eye’s tracked the movement of Cas’s tongue as he licked his lips and he swallowed as Cas leaned forward. For a moment they both just waited, a breadth apart, their lips so close they could feel the warmth of each other’s breath and then the next moment it all became too much. They both surged forward and the kiss released weeks of pent up sexual frustration. The lingering looks, the flirting, the jokes, all the little touches. Dean moved his hands up Cas’s back, one arm splayed over his middle and pulled his chest closer to Dean’s, Dean moved his hand up to the back of Cas’s neck and ran his fingers through the hair at the base of his scalp. Cas pulled back just enough to rest his forehead on Dean’s and they both tried to get their breathing back under control.

“Well that was…”

“…yeah.”

“Do you think we should go back in?”

“Not yet.” Cas smirked at Dean as he ran his finger’s up the buttons of his shirt and popped the top three, he ran his fingers just under the shirt and pulled it back to show more of Dean’s neck. He leaned forward and kissed the base of Dean’s neck, he could feel Dean’s fast pulse, the hitch in his breath as Castiel moved further up his neck. He kissed along his jaw and he could feel the stubble against his lips as he moved closer to Dean’s mouth. He kissed the corner of his mouth and undid more buttons as they kissed again. Cas pushed Dean’s suit jacket and shirt of off his shoulders and down his arms before dragging his nails down Dean’s t-shirt. He gripped the hem off his shirt and pulled it up over Dean’s head. Dean let his arms drop down on to Cas’s thighs, his hands holding his hips. He watched as Castiel’s eyes trailed over his body and the hunger that filled his eyes. Castiel dipped his head and dragged his teeth along Dean’s collarbone, he felt Dean shudder beneath him.

“I have thought about this so much. How you would react to my hands all over you, my lips, my teeth, my tongue, I could barely wait. Things I want to do to you Dean.”

“Cas, seriously, you can’t just say things like this to me.” Dean could feel the smile against his skin and he let his head fall back against the seat as Cas licked and sucked his nipple. Dean ran his hands down Cas’s back and under his suit jacket, he could feel the muscle’s shifting under his clothes and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on every part of his body. He fisted Cas’s shirt and pulled it free from his trousers. Dean moved to slip his hand under his shirt but they both jerked as there was a sharp knock to the window.

“Dean Winchester, I know you better not be in there doing what I think you are.”

“Oh hey Ellen, and no, we were just getting some space from the big crowd inside.”

“Uhuh, well were about to have a final drink for Mary, so you boys better get your arse back inside.”

“Sure thing Ellen.” They listened to the gravel crunching under Ellen’s boots as she walked away and then Cas jumped out of the car to straighten his rumpled clothing. Dean quickly followed him and almost fell out of the car in his haste to get his clothes back on. They made their way back inside and were quickly hand two drinks from Jo. They heard Bobby whistle over everyone and everyone shut up, Ellen stood by the bar, drink in hand.

“Well, we’ve shared a lot of stories about Mary Winchester tonight, some of them good, some she probably wishes we’d all forgotten and some of them that are just downright comical. I want everyone to raise a drink as a final goodbye to her. She was a great woman and she most definitely will be missed. To Mary!” There was a loud chorus of ‘to Mary’ around the bar as everyone drank to her. Dean tipped his drink back and dropped his glass down on a table. He spun round to face Cas but he had already taken off in to the crowd towards Sam and Gabe.

“Could you be any more obvious?”

“Jo.”

“I’m just saying Dean, if you keep looking at him like that people are gonna start thinking you l…”

“Do not finish that sentence. Me and Cas are taking things slow?”

“Funny that sounds like a question. Have you talked to him about it?”

“No, like I said, slow.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Why are you here anyway? I mean Jo I know you loved my mom but we both know if you had the chance to get laid you’d be taking it.”

“What do you take me for? Heartless?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah I know, plus your mom always encouraged me to get out there, she’d probably shout at me for being here.” Dean throws an arm around Jo’s shoulder and pull’s her closer.

“You were always the daughter she never had Jo.”

“Yeah and you were always the son she never wanted.”

“I’m trying to have a moment here.”

“Sorry. But I know Dean, your mom helped me and my mom through a lot after my dad died, I loved her just as much as she loved me.”

“Alright enough of these chick flick moments, let’s move on.”

“Okay, can we talk about Lucifer?”

“I’m sorry, why on earth would I want to talk about Lucifer?”

“Well, it was your idea, and how could you honestly think he was my type?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The blind date Dean!”

“Yeah, I can’t believe that never worked out, I mean he’s loved by so many people, I thought you would atleast get laid.”

“Well Lucifer wasn’t my type Dean!”

“Wait! Why did you go on a date with Lucifer?”

“Because you told me the blind date was with Castiel’s cousin then you introduced me to Lucifer, Castiel’s cousin.”

“Oh crap! No! You were supposed to go on a date with Michael!”

“Dr Sexy of the hospital we work at!”

“Yeah!”

“Goddammit Dean, he’s definitely my type!”

“I know Jo. Okay let me fix this; I will get you a new date.” Dean gave Jo a quick kiss on the cheek and then took off towards the booth. He smiled as he saw Cas, Sam and Gabe laughing and joking about.

“Cas, listen we need to set Jo and Michael up again, apparently there was a mix-up at your birthday and she met Lucifer instead.”

“You know that would actually explain why Michael said and I quote ‘Cas, I really don’t understand why you tried to set me up with a lesbian’.”

“Wow, we should probably have noticed the mistake earlier.”

“Yeah we should have but don’t worry we got plenty of time to work this out.”

“We do?”

“Well, unless you don’t want to keep me around?”

“No, I definitely want to keep you around Cas.”

“Good. Well if I’m staying we better sort out this Jo and Michael thing first!”

“Well alright then.” Dean smiled as Cas started coming up with a plan to get them together, Gabe kept throwing out random and stupid ways to make them fall in love and Sam just laughed every now and again. Ellen brought round four more beers and they all thanked her before she went back towards the bar, most likely to flirt with Bobby. Even though they’d gone through a lot of shit recently, he couldn't help but look at his family around the bar and smile because maybe they actually would all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue, so not to worry we're not finished yet!


	14. Epilogue

**_6 months later…_ **

“How are you Castiel?”

“Honestly…”

“You can say whatever you need to in here. I promise you’ll always be safe here.”

“I guess I just don’t really know how to start.”

“Why don’t you just tell me about your day, and then see where it leads us, that sound alright?”

“Yeah. Well…erm…I woke up this morning and I guess you call it progress but I didn’t have a nightmare last night. It’s the first time in 6 months, I mean I still woke up sweating and sometimes the panic gets too much and I think I’m back in the dining room but I think I am getting better. Dean’s been helping me a lot and he’s there for me when it gets too much.”

“Are you and Dean engaging in a sexual relationship yet? In our last session you mentioned that it might happen soon.”

“We are together but were taking things very slow, I mean as slow as you can when you live together. We sleep in separate rooms though, after I attacked him in my sleep I felt so guilty that it was better if we slept in separate beds. He still makes sure I’m okay though, and I know it takes its toll on him and I did try to break up with him for his own good but he’s very stubborn.”

“Where would you have gone?”

“You know I don’t even know, I was just sick of being a burden.”

“Did he say that?“

“What! No!”

“Castiel, I’m not questioning Dean.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. Please continue.”

“I sometimes see Mary in my dreams, the smile she gave me before she died, and I wish it would make me feel better that she hadn’t been afraid but I feel like there should have been something I could have done. Somehow I could have saved her.”

“Castiel, Balthazar was not your fault. You couldn’t have known what he was going to do.”

“I know, I just wish that I had.”

“Castiel, why don’t you tell me about Sam and Gabriel are doing.”

“They’re dealing as best they can. Sam’s name is permanently scarred on to Gabe’s chest and sometimes I’ll see him touching it. I know he’s trying hard to forget everything that happened but the scar always reminds him, but I guess some part of him doesn’t want to forget because he’s got a new job.”

“What is he doing?”

“He’s helping victims of abuse. Sorry. Survivors of abuse, he gets kinda angry when someone calls them victims, calls us victims, because ‘Castiel we survived everything they threw at us, we are not victims, just like everyone who comes to me we are survivors’ I think he tells me that every day.”

“Good for him. And Sam?”

“It was a little harder for him, his firm dealt with the case and he couldn’t go back to work due to conflict of interest I think, I can’t remember the specifics of it all. But he ended up spending a lot of time round the house with nothing to do and I think that made it harder for him he just seemed to think about it more. But I’ve been working out more, I think having that extra strength makes me feel more in control, and I need the control I need to be able to control something in my life. So I told Sam how it helped me and he started joining me. There’s a 24hour gym between our apartments so we go there when we both need it. It’s helped us both, I think Sam feels in more control and for me it helps me go outside. I know I didn’t really want to at first but I can make it to the gym with Sam. I usually go straight home after but that’s progress, right?”

“That’s progress. And Dean how is he?”

“Dean works a lot. He got shot but I think he’s actually dealing with it better than all of us. Sure he has to deal with me and I can see how it affects him but he says he’s used to strange hours because he’s a paramedic. I don’t know if that’s true and he’s just a good liar but there’s been a few times when I’ve stayed with him while he cried. It’s usually something at work that triggered him, a shootout or an abuse victim, sometimes a bullet wound. The bullet wounds are usually the worst ones, he doesn’t really sleep after those ones. He has a scar on his chest, it’s not even that big, strange to think something so small nearly killed him. He hated it though, he used to stare at it and the disgust in his eyes, I’d never seen that look before. He covered it with a tattoo. I think that’s him taking control, he got to choose the tattoo and he got to choose how he wanted to mark his skin.”

“You’ve been here 6 months Castiel. It’s up to you if you want to continue.”

“I know Michael wants me too. I wouldn’t even be here if he hadn’t made me, I think it helps to talk to you. To tell you all about these people that you don’t really know, I trust you, and apart from Dean, Gabe, Sam and Michael I’m not really very trusting lately. I’d like to continue if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course. Would you like to keep the same appointment?”

“Please. It fits my routine.”

“Of course. Is there anything else you wanted to say, we have ten minutes left.”

“There is one good thing that has come out of this.”

“And what’s that?”

“Michael and Jo, would you believe there serious?”

“I never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m happy that despite it all someone came out of it for the better. I know this might sound a little cheesy or cliché and after everything we’ve talked about its probably odd timing, but I need to believe that we will be okay. I know that’s impossible, I know that what happened will always be in the back of our minds, or the marks on our skin, but I think we’ve all been helping each other. So I’m continuing the sessions but only because your unbiased to all of this, without Sam Gabe and Dean I would never have gotten this far. I don’t think I would ever have even wanted to heal. Thank you for seeing me today.”

“I’ll see you next week Castiel.”

“Goodbye, Doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this story. It was the first one I ever wrote and it mean's a lot to me, it was a little hard to write sometimes due to personal experience but I'm glad I wrote it. So again thank you so much for reading it.


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